I love the banter and keep it coming but I've got a little time so onward...
2) Hand Tools:
This will be VERY opinionated. My solutions might not work for you. Tastes vary. If I post something it is because I believe it to be the best of breed. That doesn't mean I haven't missed something, so feel free to add. Also a lot of kitchen tools just don't matter that much to me (like my set of old crappy measuring cups). Also, I'll avoid specialized stuff like my spaetzlepresse. I will provide links as possible. Slight different format than last time.
Knives.I need 3. 2 Chef knives and 1 paring knife. That's it. The massive block is a waste, you'd be better off buying one really nice knife. About knives... I like big, beefy German made chef knives. Both Henckel and Wusthof are great. I can't stand the trendy lightweight Japanese knives. This is 100% subjective but to me a chef knife needs to be heavy to break down all the veggies and hack through bone as need be. If you can't afford these brands, I would recommend a Victorinox chef knife as a budget option. It won't hold an edge ass well and being less beefy you can't pound on the back of the blade with the off hand to power through tough stuff. But it works.
https://www.amazon.com/Victorinox-Fibrox-Chefs-Knife-8-Inch/dp/B000638D32/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1515711736&sr=8-4&keywords=victorinox+chef+knifeI use (but do not recommend) a 9" chef knife as well. It gets a little "sword-y" and is too big for most cutting boards.
Boards.Buy a good cutting board from a woodworker. I am biased but they are better and look good. Enough said.
Spatulas.There are two. Dexter (who makes restaurant supply and really good stuff) and Matfer (a French company that caters to specialized supply). Both are companies that do not f___ around. The Dexter spatulas are amazing for all things cast iron and grill while Matfer is great on softer cookware and actually is made for fish.
Dexter:
Big
https://www.amazon.com/Dexter-Russell-Burger-Turner-Stainless-Walnut/dp/B002CJNBQ2/ref=sr_1_3?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1515712023&sr=1-3&keywords=dexter+russell+spatulaLittle
https://www.amazon.com/Dexter-Russell-Pancake-Turner-Stainless-Walnut/dp/B002CJNBTO/ref=sr_1_1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1515712023&sr=1-1&keywords=dexter+russell+spatulaMatfer:
https://www.amazon.com/Matfer-Bourgeat-Exoglass-Pelton-Spatula/dp/B00004SZ6Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1515712120&sr=1-1&keywords=matfer+spatulaThe Matfer will wear down over time but at $13 who cares?
TongsThe extension of the hand. There is but one Vollrath (actually there are several models but this is the best). I have 2 sets and they are at home frying or grilling sausage. I can lift an 8 lb pork shoulder with one set. And they don't break. I own 2 sets because I frequently forget the one I am using and leave it haning on the grill. This is a must have for $10.
https://www.amazon.com/Vollrath-4781220-1-Piece-Scalloped-Black/dp/B002XYCVMQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1515712348&sr=1-1&keywords=vollrath+tongsPizza SlicerThis is one of those things that you just have to have. We all make pizza and we all buckle under and hit Papa Murphy's from time to time. A good pizza slicer is a must. I don't get into the giant scimitars but I insist on a 4" wheel. Again, Dexter.
https://www.amazon.com/Dexter-Russell-P177A-PCP-Sani-Safe-Handle/dp/B00BNQKZSC/ref=sr_1_3?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1515713040&sr=1-3&keywords=dexter+russell+pizza+cutterRubber (Silicone) SpatulasGuaranteed flak here. I'm recommending Williams Sonoma (because I hate money) because my actual favorite, a local shop called Kitchen Window isn't selling right now. Same rubber heads and Kitchen window has better wood handles. Bot I have a set of the Sonomas and they work great, both spatula and spoonula.
https://www.williams-sonoma.com/shop/cooks-tools/turner-spatulas/?cm_type=gnavI know they're pricey but they work great folding dough and cooking in the enameled cast iron.
Pepper MillAnother case of only one. You can buy any size with any option to grind but you better buy a Puegot. Prices have come down since I paid over $100. It's well worth it to have a good seasoning option at hand that cranks through the pepper easily.
Olive OilYou don't really cook with olive oil, do you? I hope you drizzle it on as a finish... like the Italians. Cook with a neutral fat (olive oil gets bitter when heated) and finish with olive oil. I can't recommend a product. I use a cheapo ceramic jar fitted with a nozzle to drizzle on the flavor as cooking finishes. It's a must next to any range.
Beyond all that, most of the stuff in my kitchen is Oxo They make really good stuff. I can't imagine going back to the old arthritis inducing vegetable peeler. I like big beefy grips because I have big beefy hands. I also really dig a lot of Kitchenaid products that seem to also have an ergonomic bent.
Beyond that, just don't buy a stupid new-fangled whisk. Don't get a garlic press (pound the garlic with the flat side of the chef knife). And don't buy any gimmicks (think Slapchop). Learn to use the tools that work.
That's my day to day stuff. If you haven't tried this selection before I think you'll find it works. You might have found a few gifts for the family cook. Outside of Williams Sonoma I kept it pretty frugal. You don't need or want fancy tools. You want rugged utilitarian cookware. When the Dexter spatula flips your morning eggs and your grilled burger for dinner you have a powerful tool. Ugly and cheap as it may be it works.
I'm loving the follow up. Keep it coming!