Author Topic: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction  (Read 8843 times)

Offline Patriot:Ex Machina

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The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« on: October 17, 2008, 06:20:34 PM »
I'd like to get the woman's perspective on something.
What are the dos and donts for a guy who might be trying to sell his wife or girlfriend on prepping?
Jack did a show on trying to convince your signifigant other on this, but I'd like to see what you ladies think about husbands and boyfriends who introduce them to prepping.
Give advice and talk about some personal experiences (if you'd like) about your spouse opening this lifestyle up to you.
Heck you might be trying to convince YOUR spouse.
This would be a good learning experience for all of us.
Even me, since my wife is for the most part on board, but sometimes I suppose I come off a bit pushy about it.

Offline Aunt Bee

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2008, 02:45:41 PM »
I'll take a stab at this but it is a tricky situation if you have a wife who is totally resistant to the idea.  I think it's much easier for us women to get men involved than the other way around.  The worst thing you can do is go at it from a critical standpoint such as telling her she doesn't keep enough food in stock or she should do this or should do that and never campare her to the women on boards like this who already prep. 

As a rule food is the most important prep to us women and also the area women traditionally take care of in the home.  In any situation, the absolute worst thing a man can do and it's almost an unforgivable offense is criticize the way his wife does anything.  A wise man already knows this.  We will dig our heals in and refuse to budge just on principle.

What has worked for a friend of mine is showing his wife threads on forums like this that he thinks may motivate her.  I also used this method on DH and would read him posts that I knew would interst him or print out something I thought was really motivating.  The recent stock market fiasco tipped the scales in my friend's direction.  He also gently urged her and didn't harp on it constantly but took every opportunity to point out that this is why he feels so strongly about it and she is wise enough to know to humor him if he feels that deeply about it.

I remember one poor fellow a while back but can't remember the forum....anyway he wanted to prep so badly but his wife controlled every penny in the house and controlled all his spending.  She was totally against prepping and from the sound of it, probably just because he wanted to do it.  He had secretly managed to buy a little beans and rice and hide them but was scared to death she would find it.  That's a bad situation that will never get better til it's too late.  If you're in a situation better than that with your wife, you can probably get her to come around to your way of thinking if you take it gently.

Offline DarkEyes

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2008, 08:20:58 PM »
I'd go at it from a financial standpoint and the fact that food prices have already gone up 37% and are predicted to keep rising.  It's bad enough on the budget when you don't know how to plan on how much gas is going to cost you from one week to the next.  Buying ahead will help stabilize the budget.  Also factor in the mini trips you have to make to he store to get toilet paper, or items that you KNOW you are going to use everyday.  It is more economical to purchase those items in bulk.  We all know what the #1 emotional need of a man is, but what many men don't realize is that the #1 emotional need of a woman is security.  You can pretty much cover all your bases with regard to prepping with budget and security considerations.  Make sure that you don't have any credibility issues though when trying to get your spouse to go along with prepping.  For example, I would have a hard time believing  that you would be willing to fight and die for me if you couldn't be bothered to take the garbage out after dark for me.

Offline Mrs. ElyasWolff

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2008, 10:02:27 PM »
I like to be included in the decisions. So you may have to back off on taking the lead and let her take the reins or ask her for ideas about prepping and listen to them even if you don't agree cause she is thinking about it she just may not have the experience or read as much into as you have. Even just having her be in charge of toiletries or something small for shtf will make her feel a part of it and hopefully the want to be even more a part of it. My husband used to get super excited with me being into guns and then preps and would overload me with info so calm down she has lots of time to learn at her pace. My husband had a head start on most guys because I grew up on 10 acres gardening and all that. If your wife has an ipod put the podcast on there for her and ask her if she would listen to one of them sometime and that should help too. Hope that helps.
-C

Offline DarkEyes

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2008, 04:50:15 PM »
OK Patriot--did you try any of the above, if so, how did it work out?

Offline Patriot:Ex Machina

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2008, 08:49:31 PM »
As a matter of fact, I have not put any of this into experimentation yet.
This hasn't exactly been the week to start egging the wife about such projects.  :o
It's been a BAD work week for her. Hence, a bad week all around for yours truly.

Offline Roknrandy

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2008, 06:11:28 AM »
Smart man, let everything settle down then try it.

Offline DarkEyes

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2008, 08:16:36 PM »
You know what they say..No guts..No glory!   :-\
Just kiddin...hope everything works out better for her soon.

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2008, 12:47:43 PM »
Ah, a subject near and dear to my heart!  I've been trying to get my husband on board for over 10 years now, and he tolerates my "bent" and even buys me prep oriented presents for birthdays and Christmas, he is still not a prepper. 

What works for many of my women friends and what should work for any momma is this:  How are you going to feed your babies if the grocery store is out of food?  When they say, "awe, that'll never happen",  I say, are you 100% certain of that?  Are you prepared to be wrong?  What will you say when your child looks up at you with those big eyes and says, "but mommy, I'm so hungry".  How will you feel when you know you could have done something about it when food was available and you could have put some back, but because you thought it could never happen, you did nothing to safeguard your own childrens future.  Laziness, stubborness and "head in sand syndrome" is not an excuse any more.  I'm sorry to have to use the guilt card but time is short, and folks need to wake up.   There is no reason children in this country should face starvation when we have it in our power to do something about it now.  Even though prices are rising,  it seems by the minute, you can always pick up a few extra cans or packages of long shelf life foods to put back.  It's also a great time to introduce the subject of gardening and canning!

Good luck!

Offline Brian Gallimore

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2008, 09:04:19 PM »
I had "round 2" of the prep intro conversation with the wife tonight.  "Round 1" was last night when I was bouncing off the walls after learning about Monsanto and the hormones in our milk.  (Our 2 year old guzzles the stuff)  As you are all imagining, that didn't go over too well... mostly me ranting and her rolling her eyes.  Today, I learned that Jack had a podcast on this very subject.  I listened to it and then burned it to a CD and gave it to my wife and asked her to listen to it on the way to her meeting tonight, which she did.  I was surprised when she came home (and called me a knucklehead- quoting Jack) and wanted to begin the discussion of how to stop spending so damn much money and start paying off our debt. 

We briefly got into other aspects of prepping.  (I purposefully didn't even talk about camping gear, guns, ammo, or camo)  She really did NOT believe that people (specifically Jack) walks the walk that he talks about.  She wants to see pictures!  She wants to see what his car looks like packed with his bug out bag, extra fuel, etc.  What does a pantry of 90 days of food look like?  What does a garden that will provide 10% for a family of 4 look like?  If anyone has pictures of their preps, please show me!

Offline Beetle

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2008, 09:59:35 PM »
I had "round 2" of the prep intro conversation with the wife tonight.  "Round 1" was last night when I was bouncing off the walls after learning about Monsanto and the hormones in our milk.  (Our 2 year old guzzles the stuff)  As you are all imagining, that didn't go over too well... mostly me ranting and her rolling her eyes.  Today, I learned that Jack had a podcast on this very subject.  I listened to it and then burned it to a CD and gave it to my wife and asked her to listen to it on the way to her meeting tonight, which she did.  I was surprised when she came home (and called me a knucklehead- quoting Jack) and wanted to begin the discussion of how to stop spending so damn much money and start paying off our debt. 

We briefly got into other aspects of prepping.  (I purposefully didn't even talk about camping gear, guns, ammo, or camo)  She really did NOT believe that people (specifically Jack) walks the walk that he talks about.  She wants to see pictures!  She wants to see what his car looks like packed with his bug out bag, extra fuel, etc.  What does a pantry of 90 days of food look like?  What does a garden that will provide 10% for a family of 4 look like?  If anyone has pictures of their preps, please show me!

Here are some links to posts of my preps with Pics, hope it helps...


This was made for my wife, she's kinda like your wife but she likes that I was thinking of her.
http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=3.msg12273#msg12273

Windscreen for a stove.
http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=1120.msg10605#msg10605

Ham radio repeater at my house for Comms.
http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=45.msg8153#msg8153

Organized my garage for emergency supplies and such.
http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=410.msg8152#msg8152

My saws for firewood
http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=87.msg5741#msg5741

Gear I carry in my truck
http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=233.msg1770#msg1770

   I started prepping the day I signed up on the forum Sept. 29th 2008 after accidentally finding this site. After listening to Jack's podcast I really kicked into high gear with getting ready.
I already lived on acrage in the forests of Oregon and thought I was prepared. But after reading the forums and listening to Jack I realized I would be screwed in a SHTF scenario. I started buying food after looking at my shelves and saw that I would have made it a week. Now all my shelves are stuffed with cans of food, pastas, Tuna, cans of chicken, Veggies, pasta sauces, Mac and Cheese and lots more....I ran out of shelve space so I bought two totes and they are stuffed w/flour, sugar, Powdered milk, salt, and Misc. I will try and take Pics for you sometime this week. Also bought 20 lb pack of rice stored in the freezer.

   We easily have 90 days of food now after only two months of prepping, have lots of work ahead. At least I got a good start

   I have made a BOB for my wife,bought new handhelds and a saw, already have lots of guns and ammo so ok there. Since I live in the woods my plan is to bug in as long as possible , my propane tanks are all full 8 of them, gas cans are always full and got about 15 gallons of Coleman fuel for Stoves and laterns.

    My wife is getting laid off, so she will start gardens and firewood. So don't spend to much time trying to convince her. You guys need to start getting ready, read the forums, listen to Jack and as Nike says "Just do it"...

  Good luck Bailey PS listen to his newest podcast, #102 He is recapping things just for you....

Offline Stein

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2008, 10:00:44 PM »
I'm not a woman, but have some experience in this area.  My wife hasn't been against preparing for emergencies but wasn't a willing participant either.

Then, we found common ground - our mutual desire to provide for our family.  I simply explained the fact that our infant son is completely dependent on formula due to severe allergies.  I also pointed out how few cans of this special formula are stocked at each store and how quickly it would be gone if the supply was disrupted due to weather, turmoil etc.  Same is true if our family fell on hard times, how would we pay for this expensive stuff?

So, we saved up, shopped deals and got together 90 day supply.  Same thing with diapers.  Then, we moved onto some food staples.  We got tired of buying 5# bags of flour and bought the much cheaper (per pound) 25# bags at Costco and use them.  While we were at it, it wouldn't hurt to have an extra bag around as well as an extra bag of dogfood.  Might as well grab an $8 #25 pound bag of rice while we were there.  Now, these things need a home so we picked up some 6 gallon buckets, mylar and oxy absorbers.  We also needed a few more bags of rice, flour and sugar to totally fill them up.

Long story short, start small and move up from there.  Find mutual ground and do what makes sense for your family.

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2008, 08:09:56 AM »
I had "round 2" of the prep intro conversation with the wife tonight.  "Round 1" was last night when I was bouncing off the walls after learning about Monsanto and the hormones in our milk.  (Our 2 year old guzzles the stuff)  As you are all imagining, that didn't go over too well... mostly me ranting and her rolling her eyes.  Today, I learned that Jack had a podcast on this very subject.  I listened to it and then burned it to a CD and gave it to my wife and asked her to listen to it on the way to her meeting tonight, which she did.  I was surprised when she came home (and called me a knucklehead- quoting Jack) and wanted to begin the discussion of how to stop spending so damn much money and start paying off our debt. 

We briefly got into other aspects of prepping.  (I purposefully didn't even talk about camping gear, guns, ammo, or camo)  She really did NOT believe that people (specifically Jack) walks the walk that he talks about.  She wants to see pictures!  She wants to see what his car looks like packed with his bug out bag, extra fuel, etc.  What does a pantry of 90 days of food look like?  What does a garden that will provide 10% for a family of 4 look like?  If anyone has pictures of their preps, please show me!

That's a start!  Maybe you could just do the camping gear BOB stuff and she can do the other things that interest her like prepping by getting out of debt. 

I showed the hubby the shot gun I bought and he didn't hit the roof!!

Offline flagtag

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2008, 08:55:15 AM »
I had "round 2" of the prep intro conversation with the wife tonight.  "Round 1" was last night when I was bouncing off the walls after learning about Monsanto and the hormones in our milk.  (Our 2 year old guzzles the stuff)  As you are all imagining, that didn't go over too well... mostly me ranting and her rolling her eyes.  Today, I learned that Jack had a podcast on this very subject.  I listened to it and then burned it to a CD and gave it to my wife and asked her to listen to it on the way to her meeting tonight, which she did.  I was surprised when she came home (and called me a knucklehead- quoting Jack) and wanted to begin the discussion of how to stop spending so damn much money and start paying off our debt. 

We briefly got into other aspects of prepping.  (I purposefully didn't even talk about camping gear, guns, ammo, or camo)  She really did NOT believe that people (specifically Jack) walks the walk that he talks about.  She wants to see pictures!  She wants to see what his car looks like packed with his bug out bag, extra fuel, etc.  What does a pantry of 90 days of food look like?  What does a garden that will provide 10% for a family of 4 look like?  If anyone has pictures of their preps, please show me!

That's a start!  Maybe you could just do the camping gear BOB stuff and she can do the other things that interest her like prepping by getting out of debt. 

I showed the hubby the shot gun I bought and he didn't hit the roof!!

Were you holding the shotgun at the time? Was it loaded? Was it pointed at him?   Hmmm?  ;D

Pokethis

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2008, 10:00:50 AM »
LOL!! :D

Pokethis

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #15 on: December 06, 2008, 12:07:35 AM »
KB5won:  I was thinking about this tonight and I thought maybe if you showed real interest in her step to be prepared in the debt department you could sit down and listen to her plan for getting out of debt (we are big on plans) and that it was something you were thrilled with that she wanted to do as a step to survival in this bad climate.  Thrilled I m telling you.  THRILLED!

Offline RonH2K

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2008, 05:39:31 PM »
Hello, all!  I was coming here to post a new topic on this subject and found this.  Good stuff!

I'm incredibly blessed to have married a wonderful woman.  She takes good care of me and great care of our children.  In many ways, she is a very free-spirited individual who always looks for the best in people and situations.  There are a *LOT* of positives in that, but there are some negatives.  She doesn't seem to have much realization of the state of the world today.  For the most part, she is sickeningly optomistic.  LOL!

I am far from a fatalist who thinks that, at any moment, the earth is going to crack open and wandering hordes are going to spill forth.  However, I am increasingly concerned over the state of the world and think something *could* happen to force us into a "survival" situation.

So, ladies... ...and gentlemen... ...how do I talk to my wife about preparedness to get her "on board"?  I don't want to "fear-monger" or otherwise have to scare her into it.  There's lots of work to be done and purchases to be made.  I can't leave her out.

We *DO* live in Florida, so I have the whole "Hurricane" thing to get *some* buy-in on the back of.  She has actually been pretty open to hurricane preparation.

So, again, how can I get her "on board"?  Do I package *EVERYTHING* as hurricane preparedness?

Thank you!

Offline DarkEyes

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #17 on: December 11, 2008, 06:54:42 PM »
Hurricanes do qualify as a disaster.  It's a start.

Pokethis

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #18 on: December 11, 2008, 09:31:58 PM »
That's a good start.  And hey, YOU need to take care of HER not the other way around.  That said..  Is she interested in finances?  One other guy said his wife listened to Jacks podcast and was interested in getting out of debt. Or other aspects or steps that your wife might be interested in.  His wife came home and told him she wanted to get out of debt.  Well, that is one aspect.  Back her 100%, be interested in every detail of getting out of debt but let her lead that aspect.  That would be her "job" as far as prepping.  You can focus on something else like starting a garden.  Also, I thought the podcast about how to sell prepping to the wife was good, can't remember which one it was but the foundation of it was it is a give and take situation.  She must get something out of it and not see it as all you doing this.

Offline Brian Gallimore

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Re: The Do's And Dont's Of Prep Introduction
« Reply #19 on: June 24, 2009, 08:20:35 PM »
Just a follow up to this thread...

My wife is starting to change, I can tell!  She is making a big effort to spend money more carefully.  She is clipping coupons and buying lots of an item if she finds a really good deal on something we will use.  She reorganized the pantry to make more room for food too.

I think a few things have made a difference:
1- I make the effort to use the question "Is this good for my family" when I am about to spend money.  This has cut down on the impulse buys.
2- We think about people who have recently lost their jobs, and realize we would be in a world of hurt if our household income was cut in half all of a sudden.
3- We have come to the realization that chasing the bigger house, nicer stuff isn't going to help us in the long run.
4- I've stuck with these ideals for almost a year now... so she sees it is not just a temporary fad/hobby for me.
5- We ate some of the sweet corn that we grew in our backyard!

We are now talking about long-term plans, to pay cash for our "dream house" and only do it when we have the money to do it, and to make sure we choose a location that is lower in taxes than the suburb of Dallas we are in now.

We just paid off one of our vehicles, and the other one will be paid off in 6 months... we still have a hole to dig out of though!