Author Topic: Stored food recipe failures  (Read 2413 times)

Offline Mr. Bill

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Stored food recipe failures
« on: May 31, 2018, 08:38:07 PM »
You ever have a fit of culinary inspriation, and grab some canned this and dried that, and throw them together into something you know will be amazing?

This thread is for the experiments that turned out somewhat less than amazing. :o

I figure it's better to find out these things before an actual SHTF event.  Let our failures serve as a warning to others!


RAMEN WITH SARDINES

Costco sells Lotus Foods Millet & Brown Rice Ramen, which is really pretty good.  It's just plain ramen with no "flavor packets", so you can flavor it any way you want.

They also sell Season Sardines in Olive Oil, which are the best sardines I've found anywhere.

Tonight's recipe for one (because I knew better than to give it to my wife):

Boil 1 block of ramen in enough water to cover.  When soft, drain off most of the water, leaving enough to serve as broth.  Add 1 can of sardines along with their olive oil, and about half a teaspoon of fermented fish sauce.

So... it wasn't completely awful.  It was reasonably savory, and I ate it all.  Luckily I was able to clear the taste out of my mouth with some Port wine and a big mug of tea.

There are probably better things to do with ramen and sardines. 8)

Offline Alan Georges

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2018, 09:36:13 PM »
You are a brave man, Mr. Bill.

My stored food failure isn't really a recipe, but an experience with freeze-dried beef stew on a camping trip when the kids were little.  We poured the hot water in the bag, waited with anticipation for the ten or so minutes the label specified, carefully opened the bag to savor the treat, when one of the kids blurted out "Dad, this stuff looks like dog barf!"  Nearly two decades on, any freeze dried anything (no matter how good or how bad) is still called "Dog Barf Special" around this household.

Offline Mr. Bill

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2018, 11:02:56 AM »
Some years back, I thought it would be a good idea to add some Yoders canned hamburger to our pantry.  This is 85/15 finely-ground beef, apparently crammed raw into the can and then pressure-cooked.  Much of the fat separates out and can be trashed or, I dunno, maybe used as a chemical weapon or something.  The flavor of the meat itself is... difficult to describe.

The worst recipe I ever made from this stuff was tacos.  I figured the spicing would disguise the underlying flavor.  Instead, the flavors conspired with each other to make something out of Douglas Adams: almost but not quite exactly unlike taco filling.

The only way I've been able to eat this substance is mixed with a jar of good pasta sauce.  Maybe it reminds me of the canned spaghetti sauce with meat that we used to have when I was a kid (which seems to have totally vanished from the supermarket shelves).

Offline Smurf Hunter

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2018, 11:23:05 AM »
Canning is it's own weird beast.  I got a nice All American pressure canner a few years back. 

What's ironic, is the easiest things to can are some of the least common things to eat in quantity.
I sometimes enjoy pickles, peppers, jams/jellies, but they aren't everyday staples.

With a pressure canner you can can (grammar?)  meat, even with some fat content.  Some things work better than others.
I personally found canning boneless chicken breasts to work well.  The chicken is like canned chicken (Surprise), so is better mixed into a salad, soup, etc.
Another meat that works ok is corned beef.  I cut it into 1" cubes, and throw in a small layer of peeled potatoes.
Ground beef works less well, but is tolerable.

The best thing to can are acidic soups, especially anything tomato based.  What I like is the consistency difference between fresh and canned is not too different. Also it's an MRE in a sense. 
Starches and diary do not can well, but if you have a chicken stock with meat and veggies, you could easily add dried pasta later.


Offline archer

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2018, 12:08:01 PM »
you are a very brave or suicidal man, mr bill.

Offline Mr. Bill

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2018, 04:59:27 PM »
you are a very brave or suicidal man, mr bill.

I'm not dead yet. 8)

Some day there's another sardine adventure I want to try.  I've got a Russian cookbook with a recipe for stuffed baked potatoes with sardines.  (Bake the potatoes, cut in half, scoop out the innards, mix with mashed sardines and cheese and stuff, put the mixture back into the potatoes, and bake until browned).  I made that one and it was really good.  So I want to try the storage-food version: potato flakes, sardines, and Bega canned cheese, baked in a bowl.

I suspect it'll be another meal-for-one experiment. 8)

Offline archer

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2018, 05:49:27 PM »
I'm not dead yet. 8)

Some day there's another sardine adventure I want to try.  I've got a Russian cookbook with a recipe for stuffed baked potatoes with sardines.  (Bake the potatoes, cut in half, scoop out the innards, mix with mashed sardines and cheese and stuff, put the mixture back into the potatoes, and bake until browned).  I made that one and it was really good.  So I want to try the storage-food version: potato flakes, sardines, and Bega canned cheese, baked in a bowl.

I suspect it'll be another meal-for-one experiment. 8)

does your wife go out for the weekend when you make/gag down these concoctions?

Offline Mr. Bill

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2018, 05:55:50 PM »
does your wife go out for the weekend when you make/gag down these concoctions?

Last night she had a tummyache and only wanted a sandwich, which left me free to experiment.

Offline David in MN

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2018, 07:18:19 PM »
I'm not dead yet. 8)

Some day there's another sardine adventure I want to try.  I've got a Russian cookbook with a recipe for stuffed baked potatoes with sardines.  (Bake the potatoes, cut in half, scoop out the innards, mix with mashed sardines and cheese and stuff, put the mixture back into the potatoes, and bake until browned).  I made that one and it was really good.  So I want to try the storage-food version: potato flakes, sardines, and Bega canned cheese, baked in a bowl.

I suspect it'll be another meal-for-one experiment. 8)

Why do you hate yourself? You don't need potato flakes. Potatoes are a storable food. The stuffed baked potatoes with sardines sound great (and I too have some Costco sardines but prefer King Oscar Mediterranean or Bar Harbor smoked kippers). Of course I prefer sardines on fresh baked bread with avocado. If I did a "stuffed potato" like listed above I'd prefer some kind of preserved pork (even Spam) and grill the whole thing and then, of course, pour over a mushroom gravy. Bacon, Gruyere, potato, and mushroom gravy grilled and sauced. It's on for the next business trip my wife takes. Throw in a Zywiec beer and I'm in heaven. Maybe even a Baltica #6 porter. OR WE PUT THE PORTER IN THE GRAVY! And serve it with a chicken fried steak.

That was all stream of consciousness. I'm actually thinking of many variations including kippers, pickled herring, even canned oysters. So many yummy ideas. Thanks for the concept.

Offline Mr. Bill

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2018, 08:16:13 PM »
Why do you hate yourself? You don't need potato flakes. ...

But I like potato flakes!  Okay, they don't have all the flavor of fresh potatoes, but if you're going to bury them in other flavors anyway, Idahoan brand is pretty tasty, fast to prepare, and stores a lot longer than real potatoes.

Anyway, I'm testing post-apocalyptic recipes.  Real potatoes might mutate and become carnivorous.

...Throw in a Zywiec beer and I'm in heaven. Maybe even a Baltica #6 porter. ...

Our local beer source stopped stocking Baltic Porters, and I am sad.  But I've tried both of those.  Here are 3 others that I liked a bit better:
  • Sinebrychoff Porter (Finland)
  • Alderis Porteris (Latvia)
  • Utenos Porter (Lithuania)

Offline mountainmoma

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2018, 08:54:45 PM »
potatoes only store so long, then they sprout and so between that and the new harvest, there is a dearth of fresh potatoes.  This is when we have to pull out the potato flakes, and dehydrated potatoes of other forms.  ( I know, right now, before the apocalypse, stores sell potatoes that have been kept in better storage conditions than I have at home, so one can theoretically buy them.  The price reflects that they had to store them special as opposed to in season potatoes. I like to practice growing some, and buying the rest after farm harvest in fall and practice storage. There are no fresh potatoes right now. )

Offline David in MN

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #11 on: June 01, 2018, 09:13:20 PM »
Our local beer source stopped stocking Baltic Porters, and I am sad.  But I've tried both of those.  Here are 3 others that I liked a bit better:
  • Sinebrychoff Porter (Finland)
  • Alderis Porteris (Latvia)
  • Utenos Porter (Lithuania)

Huzzah, beers I have not tried. I am not in a strong Finnish, Latvian, Lithuanian area so I might need to dig but Baltic porter is a favorite in winter so I will do my homework. We are mostly Polish, Ukrainian, and Russian (in terms of East Europe). When you can find them amongst the goddam Scandies (of which I am now a member).


potatoes only store so long, then they sprout and so between that and the new harvest, there is a dearth of fresh potatoes.  This is when we have to pull out the potato flakes, and dehydrated potatoes of other forms.  ( I know, right now, before the apocalypse, stores sell potatoes that have been kept in better storage conditions than I have at home, so one can theoretically buy them.  The price reflects that they had to store them special as opposed to in season potatoes. I like to practice growing some, and buying the rest after farm harvest in fall and practice storage. There are no fresh potatoes right now. )

That's so funny to me. My parents would buy 200 lbs at harvest and dump them in the basement. They'd last well into summer. I keep them in my crawlspace under the stairs. It's easy to forget that those of us who have the proverbial "root cellar" have a crazy advantage with tubers. Chalk it up to "depends on where you live".

Offline mountainmoma

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2018, 12:48:25 AM »
you're right Dave, I forget those of you up north can store longer ! Doesnt matter if I put them under the house ( root cellar) here, or any other tricks, I have tried a few, they know it is spring ! My onions last longer ! I am eating storage onions I grew in my garden harvested last July, But not potatoes ! Too late for those. ( Onion varieties that grew well and stored well here, Newburg and New York Early) I supplement grown potatoes with store bought. I buy by the 50 lb bag in the fall, but cant get past april for eating them. And, I will eat some wizened potatoes !

Offline Carl

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #13 on: June 02, 2018, 10:36:07 AM »
  Is there any truth to putting an apple or two with stored potatoes to slow down the sprout/growth factor,it appeard to work for family though long term storage was more like 8 weeks.

Offline Smurf Hunter

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2018, 09:04:04 AM »
The tradeoff of a cooler latitude is a shorter growing season.

Offline Carl

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Re: Stored food recipe failures
« Reply #15 on: June 07, 2018, 05:42:54 AM »
The tradeoff of a cooler latitude is a shorter growing season.

GreenHouse ,even if just for a few weeks of earlier plant starting may be a real benefit ?