Author Topic: To the mommas here...  (Read 5698 times)

Offline mrs gator

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To the mommas here...
« on: November 23, 2008, 07:15:35 PM »
Something I have been thinking about lately is how my son would adjust if something happen. He is 5 and was diagnosed with Asperger's(high functioning autism) last year. I can't help but really worry about what would happen if we had to leave...Since he thrives on routine, everything about him would be completely thrown out of balance. He only eats certain foods, will only wear certain clothes, things like that.

Do any moms here have any advice?  :-[

Offline TimSuggs

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2008, 10:16:01 PM »
Something I have been thinking about lately is how my son would adjust if something happen. He is 5 and was diagnosed with Asperger's(high functioning autism) last year. I can't help but really worry about what would happen if we had to leave...Since he thrives on routine, everything about him would be completely thrown out of balance. He only eats certain foods, will only wear certain clothes, things like that.

Do any moms here have any advice?  :-[

Hi Mrs. Tash!  Another Alabamian here.  Since I'm in the "mommies column", I'll go ahead and take off my .45 totin, Mohawk wearing, big, bad and ugly persona and reveal a side to me that the others here haven't seen.  I was a Mr. Mom.  There, I said it, it's out in the open now, no turning back <grin>.  But it is the truth.  When we returned home to Birmingham in 1990 after my military time, my wife (an RN) and I (a cop) had the blessing of our third child shortly after returning home.  The "childcare" choices were slim at the time, so I dumped my career down the toilet, happily pulled the handle and put on the Mr. Mom apron.  20 years later, I'm still "on the clock" since our daughter still doesn't have a drivers license yet, but she got her own apartment at least.  And I'll be the first to tell anyone, I wouldn't trade a moment of my "Mr. Mom" time for all the .45 ammo in the world.  Happy and proud to have been fortunate enough to be able to spend those years with our kids.

On to your questions...

My wife as an RN (NeoNatal ICU Specialist to be "exact"), has a little knowledge of Aspergers, and has done some work with Mitchell's Place http://www.mitchells-place.com/giving.html which is a place that specializes in treating kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder's.  Other than what you probably already know, the only suggestions she had other than stocking up on "his" items was to try and work on introducing new variables into his daily routine.  Which I'm sure you already try to do.  Let me do a little personal research with some friends we have who have kids with Aspergers and bounce the ideas off of them.  I'll get back to you in a few days. 

Tim "Mr. Mom" Suggs
Birmingham, AL. USA!

Offline archer

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2008, 09:07:27 AM »
Hello Mrs. Tash,
I'm not quite a Mom, but my son is 9 years old and also has Aspergers. We've known for 5 years now. After dealing with a horrible school experience we now home school him. He has his routines, but we work with him (and on him) to be flexible.
We go out camping to get him used to being out and away from home with only a few of his comforts. He does get extremely nervous when the sun goes down so he heads into the tent to read.
Stock up on his favorites, but also introduce him to other things slowly. I know it's not an easy process and makes you want to tear your hair out, but slow is better. And as he grows he will change, hopefully he will become less rigid.

Good luck..

Offline mrs gator

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2008, 09:29:28 PM »
When it warms up again, I definitely want to start taking him camping. The problem is, most of his comfort items are electronic. He does have a thing for playing cards/poker chips, so I guess that would be something to look into taking.

And he's getting better about being flexible as long as I let him know what is going on as much as I can. If I say, "a few minutes" he gets mad. He likes exact times and I try to work on that with him.

But any advice you wanna send my way, I would be more than happy to listen!

Offline archer

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2008, 11:17:39 PM »
Let's see.... Does he read yet? He'll have some topics that he really focuses on. Use those to your advantage to distract/entice him.
Bring some of the electronic devices, just don't bring a way to charge them... That way, they are self limiting and he can decide how he wants to use the limited power.
In my case, I learned NOT to use a timer... Several died a nasty death before I realized those did not work.... We now have count down devices that just move a hand and do not make a sound when they reach 0.
I'll keep digging up tips for you..


Offline CFG

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2009, 07:29:05 PM »
Hi Mrs. Gator,

I have a 9-year-old that we took out of school after kindergarten for classic behaviors... he hasn't been officially diagnosed with Aspergers, but his profile lines up with most of the patterns described, stimming, etc.  He also loves his electronics: video games, TV, and such.  I keep him busy with puzzles, games, chores, and sending him outside to play.  Cod liver oil has helped too.  Part of our routine has become more in line with a survival lifestyle; gathering wood for the fire, collecting fruit and nuts, cooking, and so on.  This is good for him even if we didn't get into a shtf situation, but it goes against his grain - he would still rather be playing a video game or watching a movie.  It takes a lot of stubbornness.  I wish you the best.

Winchester32

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2009, 01:01:24 AM »
Something I have been thinking about lately is how my son would adjust if something happen. He is 5 and was diagnosed with Asperger's(high functioning autism) last year. I can't help but really worry about what would happen if we had to leave...Since he thrives on routine, everything about him would be completely thrown out of balance. He only eats certain foods, will only wear certain clothes, things like that.

Do any moms here have any advice?  :-[

I too have a child with Aspergers, a daughter who is nearly 7.  She also has severe ADHD.  Her AS issues are more sensory related.  She has trouble tolerating loud noises and getting into a crowd of unknown people.  Here ADHD is more of the issue for me.  We finally found a med that helps & with little side effects.  I purchase it one week early every month, as my insurance gives a 5-7 day early leway.  That way I am able to store it for the day I either can't afford it, or it is not available any more.  I am also researching and experimenting with holistic options, and with some success. 

When the hyperactivity is in full swing, she is like a pinpall machine on sterioids, but with her meds, she is able to retreat to her own place and is hyper focused on whatever her interest is at that time.  She loves to read books and write.  When she was about 4, she could spend hours trying to tie her shoes and not notice anything around her.  Without her meds however, the shoes are getting thrown about like they are on fire! 

I worry about how we will be able to manage her if things really get ugly and SHTF.  I just keep trying to educate myself on anything that might help. 

Good luck!

SuperUltraJulie

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2009, 09:15:31 PM »
Good luck with this, Mrs. G. I'm sure it's not easy :)

Offline CFG

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2009, 12:02:43 PM »
I finally got results for our oldest, and though extremely adhd, the doctors don't believe he is anywhere on the autism spectrum, which is great.  He tested high on IQ (120+) and his grade level was between 4-5 in everything but spelling, which was 3rd (he just finished 3rd grade homeschooling, Rah!)

We have been trying to keep him on a gluten-free diet, though unsuccessfully, we have cut way back.  We also do cod liver oil and epsom salt baths.  I think keeping him off wheat and junk food really helps.  But he craves it and my husband keeps it around, so it's difficult.  Changes in routine make him unmanageable still.  I have to be totally militant.  My heart's with you.

Offline Zookeeper

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2009, 09:18:55 AM »
My Grandson has a diagnosis of Mild retardation ADD and ODD, Ive had custody of him for about 13 years now. Its been one hell of a ride getting him to a point that he can function well . I think we've finally found the right combination of drugs and behavior modification.
Hes getting As and Bs in his special Ed. classes . He is also playing football , the look of pride on his face as he comes off the field makes all the years of frustration worth it.

Offline CFG

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2009, 11:43:58 AM »
Keep up the good work, Zookeeper.  I believe the sacrifices we make here follow us into eternity.  But if not, seeing your boy win on the field is still a great harvest.

Offline summer98

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2009, 05:45:10 AM »
Hey, Mrs. Gator,
I'm not (yet) a mom, but I studied psychology for several years and I've had some experience with these kids. Because he thrives on routine, you need to find a way to keep his routine as stable as possible in any SHTF situation. That will hardly be possible if you have to leave all of a sudden, of course, but there are some things you can do. You can keep duplicates of his favorite toys (like an extra Game Boy, since he likes the electronic toys -you can find them cheap) in his BOB. Keep or grab his favorite clothes/blankets/etc handy. If he has a favorite pair of pajamas, you might buy a duplicate and keep them in his BOB. Chances are he'll never notice the difference. Food is really big, as you know. I would keep a stockpile of his favorite foods on hand, maybe in a ready to go box, that way he will have a good chance to adjust instead of being thrown onto a new diet all at once.
Good luck.

Offline mamabear

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Re: To the mommas here...
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2009, 01:43:48 PM »
I am going to chime in and agree with summer98. If your son thrives on routine, take that routine with you. My son is nine and also is an Aspie. Keep his "preferred foods" ready in the bob or bov, or stockpile it if staying in. I also have duplicates of many things that I have always kept in the car so that we always had a security item handy if the need arose. Also consider that in the event of having to move to another location, you may have to take it slow. I know that with my son and going someplace new, we had to use his schedule. If you have to move out in a hurry just make sure the electronics are fully charged and hope that he will focus on them or try to turn his focus onto them. Interestingly, my son is also really into electronic items and reading.

As for introducing new items, my son was sent to his dads for an extended visit, a dad who has no interest in my sons well being i might add, and he was thrown into a whole new life. It was really hard for him at first, and there were lots of temper tantrums, but he did get past some of the "stick in the mud" behaviors about trying something new. He still balks at new things, but will accept them now if he knows he has no other choice. Kind of a survival technique for him.