Author Topic: When you are feeling overwhelmed  (Read 7483 times)

Offline Kate Change

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When you are feeling overwhelmed
« on: June 27, 2012, 06:59:27 PM »
I am feeling overwhelmed.  The news seems like it's mainly bad and we're in a waiting period.  (Husband was in an accident and we are waiting to settle.)  The garden is doing OK, drip irrigation still needs tweaking, chickens are alright, but we had a little cannibalism attempt possibly due to overheating, possibly due to vent issue.  Situation resolved happily with segregation.  I think I need a little vacation, but the money isn't really there and I don't want to leave the chickens under a neighbors care in 100F heat. 

What do you do when you are feeling overwhelmed and need to switch back to positive?  My current strategy is to work harder and hope that tiring myself out will take care of it.  I'm considering adding drinking to the list  ;).  But seriously?  How do you pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you realize how much more there is to do?   I'd really like to change my mood. 

Offline TwoBluesMama

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2012, 08:06:46 PM »
I am feeling overwhelmed.  The news seems like it's mainly bad and we're in a waiting period.  (Husband was in an accident and we are waiting to settle.)  The garden is doing OK, drip irrigation still needs tweaking, chickens are alright, but we had a little cannibalism attempt possibly due to overheating, possibly due to vent issue.  Situation resolved happily with segregation.  I think I need a little vacation, but the money isn't really there and I don't want to leave the chickens under a neighbors care in 100F heat. 

What do you do when you are feeling overwhelmed and need to switch back to positive?  My current strategy is to work harder and hope that tiring myself out will take care of it.  I'm considering adding drinking to the list  ;).  But seriously?  How do you pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you realize how much more there is to do?   I'd really like to change my mood.

I like to make a "look down the road and see how far I've come" list.  I'll take a lawn chair and go sit out by the garden and the chickens with a glass of ice tea and look at everything growing.  I think about how wonderful all those apples, peaches, plums and raspberries are going to be when I preserve them.  I look at the beans, corn, carrots, chard, kale, potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes and all the other stuff growing out there and plan what I'll do to each kind.  Maybe I'll can up a bunch of ham and bean soup. Maybe I'll just let some beans dry and store them. I want to can whole tomatoes, spaghetti sauce and even dry some and powder them for storage.  I watch the chickens and they watch me wondering if I'll bring them some dry corn and thank them for their eggs as I do most days.

And then I think about all the ways I am better off than most of my neighbors  - not in a superior way but in the way that I have the skills to have food beyond the grocery store. And I remember I have the TSP community and friends here who get this way of life and that means a lot. Just know you are not alone - we've all had times in our lives when we wish we could just fast forward past them - but you'll get through it and things will be okay again.  Hang in there - sorry about your accident troubles (have had some of those too). PM me anytime and we'll have a virtual drink together (LOL - unfortunately I don't drink due to health issues but I'll share some tea with you and commiserate!)  Blessings TBM


Offline monkeyboyf

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2012, 10:00:41 PM »
+1 TBM for your wonderful encouraging posts if anyone gets overwhelmed or discouraged.  You are truly our TSP Blessing Cheerleader! ;D

Offline Frugal Upstate

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2012, 07:03:40 AM »
I've been feeling very overwhelmed myself lately, on and off.  I don't really have much more than support to offer, but I will say that if I am tired and/or hungry (I get that whole hypoglycemia mood thing) it seems worse-so try to take care of yourself.

Offline donaldj

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2012, 07:39:16 AM »
<<<Edit: Didnt realize this was in the Lady Prepper category. Maybe my perspective will help, though... >>


Yeah... I'm pretty task-list oriented, so I have everything I need to do to get myself to the next level of preparedness (in my mind) on a task-list spreadsheet in Excel.

Yes, it can get a little overwhelming at times. For me, the feeling comes from seeing what is needed, and not having the time to accomplish it.

To prevent being overwhelmed, I've found breaking the tasks down into smaller sub-tasks is very beneficial. If you have a task list that looks like:

Get a generator
Learn reloading
Start alternate business

These are three HUGE tasks that are a few weeks worth of work at least. Get enough of those on a task list, and you aren't going to get anywhere. The trick for me is to break them down into subtasks that can be accomplished in a timeframe that you commonly have available (say, 4 hrs). Then I always feel I am accomplishing something, preventing the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Research generator power rating needed
     Major appliances current draw
Research portable of fixed
     Part of bug out, or will we bug in?
Research fuel type advantages
     Synergize with vehicle fuel type?
Research circuit box switcher
      Full house or selected circuits?
Get quotes on generator
Get quotes on electrician work
Get generator
Get electrical work done.


I dont delete these rows when they are accomplished. I put in the date they were completed, then filter on "blanks" in the date completed to get active tasks. If I need to see how far I've come, I simply need to disengage that filter and see the tasks I've completed to date.

It may feel like you're accomplishing little at first, but spending up to a month figuring out where you are with each facet of your preparedness plan and where you'd like to be is time WELL spent.

Hope this helps. It helped me a lot when I went through "prepper anxiety".

D

Offline TwoBluesMama

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2012, 08:28:45 AM »
@monkeyboyf - thanks for the sweet words.  You all are like family (perhaps even better) because we share the same beliefs about preparedness and that means a lot to me.

@FrugalUpstate - true words as when you're physically spent it takes a toll on how you feel.

@donaldj- I think it's great that you added to this thread and I totally "got" your advice. 


Offline LJH

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2012, 08:56:18 AM »
Kate, every word in the above posts + 100.

We all get overwhelmed at times. I pretty much live in that state what with trying to study permaculture and how to apply it to my homestead, tending the gardens, keeping the house (somewhat reasonably) clean, budgeting, planning meals, putting food by, caring for the critters and on and on and on .... oh yeah, and the full-time job.

What has helped me more than anything is to make my own health a priority. Even if something else has to be put off (almost always the housecleaning in my case  :-[) - take time to get the proper sleep, proper exercise and 'alone time', be that prayer, meditation or a long walk in the woods - those three are pretty much the same thing for me. YMMV, but once I bumped myself to the top of the list it got a little easier to put it all in perspective.

Offline Kate Change

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2012, 12:23:45 PM »
Thanks for the words of support, all.  I think that maybe the key.  I can't control what happens with DHs accident, we just have to wait.  That pretty much locks up our finances, so I can't start any major projects, which is usually my focus in the summer.  So maybe this summer I focus on things that don't cost much, learning more about my health.  (We all have one issue or another that could use attention)  Spending time helping others with their projects and doing those household chores that I don't really like, but that don't cost anything.  (Cleaning, organizing, looking at getting small chores done.)

Since then, I found a neighbor who wants to trade veggies for eggs, so I can learn more about dehydrating those.  I'm feeling a little bit better.   I appreciate having people to chat with.  I'll raise a glass of ice tea in all your honors! :D

Offline Cedar

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2012, 06:50:54 PM »
How do you pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you realize how much more there is to do?   I'd really like to change my mood.

There is alot to do and you will never be done. It will never be done. You just go about it one thing at a time and accomplish a wee bit more. You sit down and eat what you have put up for dinner. You sit on the back porch with a cup of tea in the morning, surveying your bit of land and see what you have done, what you plan on in the future. My favorite thing in the fall is to sit on a bucket by my pantry and survey all the gem-like colours of the foods I put up in jars over the year... that is my paycheck.

Cedar

Offline 4bull

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2012, 11:21:34 PM »
Some times you just need a break , even a little one .
I go fishing ,help a friend, or shoot something , mainlyshoot something.
Or i go talk to the garden, no one else around here lissens .
Switch to a diffrent job to be done, don't let it get you down.
Hang in there were all pulling for you

Offline Emma

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2012, 06:38:34 AM »
I have been going through an incredibly stressful time myself, lately. IEverything that I have worked towards the past few years looks like it might be pulled out from under me, but I really do not know for sure yet, so I am running around like a headless chicken trying to fix something that may be ultimately unfixable at the time being, just in case it isn't. All of it is piling on after a few months of stress about other issues and two months without a break.

The past two weeks, though, despite the 5-6 hours per day allocated to running around trying to create a miracle (on top of work and housework), I've been okay. And that's because I finally identified what about the situation was causing me the most grievance and remedied that. Nothing has really changed, situation wise, and in fact we've just had bad news upon bad news, but it doesn't touch me like it did, because what pained me the most isn't an issue any more.

For me, it was the fear of having to put my life on hold and be stuck in limbo again, so the husband and I sat down and laid out a "Plan B" that I felt all right with. For you, it may be something else completely, but I think that identifying what it is that causes the most anxiety is the key. Then, if you're overwhelmed by lack of control you can break everything down into tasks; if your mind is wandering too much, you can throw yourself into work; if you need a little break, you can take half a day off to focus on yourself... because you know what you need and why.

Offline TwoBluesMama

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2012, 07:15:03 PM »
What a great bunch of people we have here - everyone who posted here got a +1 from me.  It's so reassuring to know there are still lots of good people in this world and most of them hang out at TSP.

Kate - just know you are not alone - you have lots of people here who care about you. 

Offline hoosiermom

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #12 on: July 06, 2012, 09:45:47 PM »
I am so glad I found this part of the forum! Blessings to you all.  I am in the same boat, and try to do some of the same things I've seen mentioned here.  It's hard to NOT feel overwhelmed when it's around 105 outside.  Seriously! And where I live is considered a severe drought area. The lack of rain has been a tremendous strain, not only on the plants but I think on all of us.  My poor backyard, which was to be my summer project, is still lying in a total mess of weeds because the ground is so dry, and it's just too doggone hard to work in the dirt.  I gave up after the area where my food is growing got put together.

But I like the idea of sitting outside with sun tea, checking out all that we've accomplished in really such a short time.  We've been at our current location two years, and before we moved here, we'd never heard of Jack Spirko or took seriously prepping. I stocked up on things, but not much.  Totally different scenario now.

We now have 4 chickens (really hoping for no cannibalism! I had no idea!); a garden WITH a fence (hugely important with lots of deer around); actual growing vegetables in the garden, interspersed with my flowers, and on my patio; several fruit trees planted as well as berry bushes and grape vines planted (albeit struggling with the drought).  We've utilized some ideas from Jack, and my husband has withstood my strange looks, lol. We are both on board totally.

But, geez, our plates are full!!  You are all such an inspiration to me.  I never thought of what I was doing as "farm chores", but they kind of are, and it's a good feeling to know that we're working to have an alternative means of feeding our families and taking care of them, even if our learning curves are still high (mine is, for sure - Cedar, I think of you every time I see a canning jar or attempt it myself!). 

That's not to say I would really enjoy a night of scrapbooking with friends.  :). Or euchre!  I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow as I do my chores!

Offline TwoBluesMama

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2012, 12:53:09 PM »
+1 hooisermom - loved your post.  Blessings, TBM

Offline Kate Change

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2012, 03:17:08 PM »
Thanks for all the support!  It turns out that I have a medical condition that maybe pretty easily correctable.  If I hadn't hit this especially bad patch, I wouldn't have gone to the doctor.  I thought maybe it was clinical depression.  It isn't, which is a relief.  Turns out, the fix should be pretty simple.  It also explains some other medical issues I have been experiencing for years.  I guess my take away from this is to remember that the brain and the body are connected and that when one isn't happy, the problem maybe with the other. 

Offline TwoBluesMama

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2012, 07:05:39 PM »
Thanks for all the support!  It turns out that I have a medical condition that maybe pretty easily correctable.  If I hadn't hit this especially bad patch, I wouldn't have gone to the doctor.  I thought maybe it was clinical depression.  It isn't, which is a relief.  Turns out, the fix should be pretty simple.  It also explains some other medical issues I have been experiencing for years.  I guess my take away from this is to remember that the brain and the body are connected and that when one isn't happy, the problem maybe with the other.

Good news (well hopefully it is!) - as someone who deals with medical issues everyday (I have systemic lupus erythematosus) I can tell you that yes everything is connected.  Hope you begin to feel better soon.

Offline Roundabouts

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #16 on: July 09, 2012, 07:36:48 AM »
If any one wants to know why I love it here and all you guys so much all they have to do is read this thread! ;D  The support caring and reaching out amazing.  This always helps me lift my spirits when I am overwhelmed.  I don't remember piling my plate so full on the buffet of life who the heck filled this plate any way?   

Lately I have burned or deleted all my to do lists.  Man was that a pile. I decided if I was going to have a list at all it should be a I did that list.   At first I was putting so much on that list.  Oh it felt great.  Then one day I realized this is just my "new life"  It's all about producing your own food.  Hey it's just farm chores.  OMG I said I wanted to build a homestead.  I have been so busy working it I never realized I have done it!  It's here now.

 There will always be chores there will always be things to add or change.  There will always be the game of beat the weather.  Even as I sit here now looking out the window I can see so many things that need tending to.  I see them with a smile on my face and a giggle in my heart, because I get to go out and work on my farm / homestead!  (Even with my painful feet) And moments like this I need to really cherish and remember because crap storms will hit they always do.  That's just life.  On the other side they also fade away and the good comes back.  I just have to remember to slow down long enough to see it the good. ;)   

Stopping and taking the time to just breath to just BE in the moment.  Thanks guys for always being there.

Offline snickers

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #17 on: July 09, 2012, 08:18:39 AM »
Everyone else has already given great advice, but I thought I could possibly help with one thing:

I think I need a little vacation, but the money isn't really there 

Story of my life! I've always wanted to travel but never had the money. When I am feeling stressed/sad/overwhelmed I will take a "15 minute vacation." I dim the lights, put on some French music, make an espresso and pretend I'm sitting in a Parisian cafe after a day of sight seeing. I don't do anything other than sip my coffee and relax for 15 minutes. If my roommates need to talk to me I insist that they do so in French, which, none of us speak, so it's a great way to get peace and quiet  ;)

Offline Roundabouts

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #18 on: July 09, 2012, 08:43:26 AM »
Everyone else has already given great advice, but I thought I could possibly help with one thing:

Story of my life! I've always wanted to travel but never had the money. When I am feeling stressed/sad/overwhelmed I will take a "15 minute vacation." I dim the lights, put on some French music, make an espresso and pretend I'm sitting in a Parisian cafe after a day of sight seeing. I don't do anything other than sip my coffee and relax for 15 minutes. If my roommates need to talk to me I insist that they do so in French, which, none of us speak, so it's a great way to get peace and quiet  ;)

Good one!  ;D In this house we would have to go for some other language my son in law is French.   ;)  This is to funny.  A great imagination is such a good tool!!!!

Offline Kate Change

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Re: When you are feeling overwhelmed
« Reply #19 on: July 09, 2012, 06:38:58 PM »
I love snickers vacation idea!  That sounds relaxing. 

Sorry to hear that about other members more serious medical conditions.  This issue isn't even on the same scale, it is much more minor - it's just a hormonal imbalance, but fixing it may help with the fertility problems DH and I have been having.  It's going to mean a diet change and some medication until (hopefully) the diet change will handle it all.  I'm pretty excited about it, to be honest.  The medication has already made me feel much, much better.

You guys are the best.