Author Topic: Heavy G's marriage advice column  (Read 92557 times)

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #150 on: February 28, 2012, 10:34:12 AM »
Sis:

I have no answers for you.  I just don't.  You've stumped me.

I had to spend a summer away from Mrs. Heavy G about 20 years ago.  It sucked.  My friends said I was acting all depressed. 

I just had to wait it out. 

Here's some hope: the reunion was super boom-boom.  Lotta lotta.

Offline Sister Wolf

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #151 on: February 28, 2012, 10:36:51 AM »
Sis:

I have no answers for you.  I just don't.  You've stumped me.

:(

Quote
Here's some hope: the reunion was super boom-boom.  Lotta lotta.

;D Well that goes without saying, of course!

Offline Docwatmo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #152 on: February 28, 2012, 10:37:33 AM »
I'll field this one G.

Just remember that all things pass,  In time, when you are together again, this separation will be but a short quickly forgotten memory.   

Just look to the future, the dreams have come true, the land is as you wish it and you have your most cherished loved one's by your side for the rest of your life.

Hope that helps.


Doc



Offline Morning Sunshine

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #153 on: February 28, 2012, 10:39:09 AM »
careful with your answer G - the wrong answer could bring down the hammer!   ;)

Offline archer

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #154 on: February 28, 2012, 11:23:08 AM »
Let's start a SW-TW Boom-Boom Fund! ;)

Offline Greywolf27

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #155 on: February 28, 2012, 03:18:06 PM »
Spatulas and slotted spoons?  :o

Offline ttubravesrock

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #156 on: February 28, 2012, 09:52:52 PM »
SW: congrats on escaping California!!!

My wife and I are in the opposite situation.  This summer will be the first time in 7 summers that we have NOT been separated.  We are both very excited about it.

Offline Cedar

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #157 on: February 28, 2012, 10:00:29 PM »
Send a card in the mail every day to him.

Cedar

Offline bartsdad

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #158 on: February 28, 2012, 11:54:57 PM »
Send a card in the mail every day to him.

Cedar
Considering their luck with the USPS and UPS, that may not work. ;)

Offline Sarey

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #159 on: February 29, 2012, 07:57:37 AM »
Just spotted this column this morning and enjoyed reading the various tidbits of advice being doled out by Heavy G along with other comments by fellow TSP’rs (seems like a good term to me). Clearly I need to spend more time on the forums. Usually I’m looking for something specific but lately I’ve discovered many educational and fun topics to participate in.

Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.

He’s a great man with a wonderful sense of humor and accepts me as I am with all my crazy notions (prepping, tin foil hat stories, what if’s and puts up with a really sick sense of humor and laughs with me) so I really can’t complain.

Love this community more and more…

Sarey

Offline Roundabouts

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #160 on: February 29, 2012, 10:32:47 AM »

Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.

Sarey

yeha know what you mean.  We have been married 33 yrs.  Met on a blind date at the age of 16.  Lets just say he is not 16 any more  ;)  we went from come on honey I know you want to.   TO...   Oh I'm to tired and the kids are still awake   TO ….you know  I think I want to want to.  TO… Lets not and say we did was it good for you. …… TO….. how bout we just get straight to the sandwich.  What's next? Oh man is it your birthday again already  ;) 

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #161 on: February 29, 2012, 02:39:56 PM »
Speaking as a guy, I would say it's never too late to blow his mind.  Throw down the love guantlet.  There are things that no man can say no to.  I'm not going to describe them here, but there are things that he can't turn down.

If, by some strange chance, he is still uninterested then you know that you tried.

Give it your best shot ladies and see what happens.

Offline Isailli

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #162 on: March 01, 2012, 08:05:03 PM »
Dear heavy I am posting this question for a friend while not a marriage question it is related to sex well sort of. This friend would like to know how do you get the dead hooker smell out of the trunk of a car. He has asked a few of his fellow congressman but as usual there fix involves spending a few billion on the problem. To make matters worse it is not his car and he needs to return it to that nice lobbyist man who lent him the car ( and the hooker) He really needs to put this behind him so he can get back to work on his speech on family values. Please help.

Offline Roundabouts

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #163 on: March 01, 2012, 10:06:08 PM »
ya know Heavy G in my preps I say tarps are so important.  You can carry stuff build shelters patch a roof boil water just so many things.  One more thing they are good for.  Protecting the carpet from oil adult slip n slide pudding wrestling and body finger painting.  Hows that for giving it your all ;)

PS yes high heals included

Offline Sister Wolf

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #164 on: March 01, 2012, 11:17:27 PM »
ya know Heavy G in my preps I say tarps are so important.  You can carry stuff build shelters patch a roof boil water just so many things.  One more thing they are good for.  Protecting the carpet from oil adult slip n slide pudding wrestling and body finger painting.  Hows that for giving it your all ;)

PS yes high heals included
WOO HOO! Roundy got some sexy time! ;D

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #165 on: March 02, 2012, 04:29:33 AM »

Dear heavy I am posting this question for a friend while not a marriage question it is related to sex well sort of. This friend would like to know how do you get the dead hooker smell out of the trunk of a car. He has asked a few of his fellow congressman but as usual there fix involves spending a few billion on the problem. To make matters worse it is not his car and he needs to return it to that nice lobbyist man who lent him the car ( and the hooker) He really needs to put this behind him so he can get back to work on his speech on family values. Please help.


Isailli: 

You ask a common question.  Fabreze works wonders. 

Another thing to do is claim your car was stolen and then drive it to the home of someone you hate.  The cops find your "stolen" car at the home of the person you hate and there's evidence of a dead hooker.  Your friend is arrested.  Only do this if you have an air-tight alibi.

Offline Isailli

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #166 on: March 02, 2012, 06:35:14 AM »
My friend would rather not dump the car all though the thought has crossed his mind to drive it to a member of the other party's house. The problem is the car is owned by Monsanto and they contributed 90% of the money in his campaign fund and if a man is not loyal he has nothing. He has taken your other advice and introduced a bill called The olfactory Diversion and control bill AKA The get the dead hooker smell out of my car trunk before someone finds out and busts my ass bill. This bill would allow for an unlimited supply of Fabrese, bleach, lime and shovels  to federal Government officials as an additional perk. In addition it would create the Department of Coverup for  the administration of this needed program and is estimated to create 500,000 new  high paying jobs. The best part is the cost of the program as far as the gov. is concerned would be free and not negatively effect the budget as it will be payed for with a new tax. This program may be just what we need to get the stink out of Washington.

Offline Roundabouts

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #167 on: March 02, 2012, 07:59:29 AM »
 :clap:

Offline pokeshell

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #168 on: March 02, 2012, 09:38:21 PM »
Just spotted this column this morning and enjoyed reading the various tidbits of advice being doled out by Heavy G along with other comments by fellow TSP’rs (seems like a good term to me). Clearly I need to spend more time on the forums. Usually I’m looking for something specific but lately I’ve discovered many educational and fun topics to participate in.

Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.

He’s a great man with a wonderful sense of humor and accepts me as I am with all my crazy notions (prepping, tin foil hat stories, what if’s and puts up with a really sick sense of humor and laughs with me) so I really can’t complain.

Love this community more and more…

Sarey

Speaking from experience, have his testosterone checked. At 30-35 I had mine checked for fertility reasons(residuals from having to take meds to make babies) and it was super low. It was out of whack to begin with, as I was super high in my 20s, causing fertility issues in my early 30s. A high number can through it off just as bad as low when baby making.

Any way, I not yet 40, and I now take shots once a week, and we are back to normal+. It gave me more energy. I feel more connected to my wife. I did not even realize how lacking it was. I was lumping it in with all the kid and such. My wife missed that part and said something(took her about 2 years to get the courage up), and MAN I AM GLAD SHE DID!

It is better then when we met 20 years ago. Have him get checked, you can just askfor it the next blood test. It adds about $14 in real money. Free with insurance.

Offline liftsboxes

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #169 on: March 03, 2012, 05:03:36 AM »
Edited from 13 Ways to Naturally Boost Your Testosterone Levels
By Ron Geraci, Men's Health, December 25, 2000

The normal level of testosterone in your bloodstream is between 350 and 1,000 nanograms per deciliter (ng/dl). Like combable hair, those quantities silently start to wane around age 40. You lose about 1 percent a year -- a harmless decline in the short term, but a cause of obesity, brittle bones, muscle loss and impotence by the time you reach your 60s -- if you live that long. Testosterone levels in the low range (a blood serum score below 350 ng/dl) may increase your chances of dying of a heart attack.

It's not just an old man's problem, either. Men in their 30s and 40s also fall prey to low testosterone counts. It's a disorder called hypogonadism, and it can be caused by an undescended testicle, a testicular injury, a pituitary gland disorder or even prescription drugs. It usually goes undiagnosed until a man hits his doctor with a telltale complaint: "I can't get an erection."

"If you have reduced levels of sexual desire, have your testosterone level checked immediately," says Dr. Allen Seftel, a urologist at Case Western Reserve University Hospitals of Cleveland. You can replenish your testosterone stores with injections, gels, pills or patches, but these medical treatments are no panacea: Side effects include acne, high cholesterol, shrunken testicles and liver damage. Further, don't take supplements like DHEA or androstenedione to boost testosterone; they might increase your risks of prostate cancer and heart disease.

"For men with borderline testosterone scores, I advise them to try to raise their levels through exercise and weight loss before going on testosterone therapy," says Dr. Goldberg. And it might pay to start young. "Since your testosterone declines at a steady rate, it's conceivable that raising your hormone levels naturally in your 20s and 30s could help you maintain higher levels later on," he says. Either way, the reward can be a stronger physique and better bedroom sessions than you'd otherwise deserve. Below are 13 tips designed to get your juice up -- safely.

Get Rid of the Flopping Belly

Or you'll grow a pair of fetching breasts to complement it. Carrying excess body fat elevates your estrogen levels, and that may cause your testosterone levels to sink, says Joseph Zmuda, an epidemiologist at the University of Pittsburgh. Louie Anderson is proof enough of this. Two or three extra pounds won't cause this hormonal shift; it really occurs once you're 30 percent over your ideal body weight. "Unfortunately, that's pretty common now," says Dr. Dobs.

But Lose Only One Pound a Week

When you want to trim down quickly, you probably starve yourself while exercising like a madman. One of the many reasons this stops working in your 30s, when your natural testosterone levels start dropping, is pretty simple: Cutting your calorie intake by more than 15 percent makes your brain think you're starving, so it shuts down testosterone production to wait out the famine. "There's no need to reproduce if you're starving," explains Thomas Incledon of Human Performance Specialists in Plantation, Fla. Ironically, this dive in circulating testosterone stops you from burning body fat efficiently, so you're actually thwarting your hard efforts to melt that tire off your gut.

Have Morning Sex

German scientists found that simply having an erection causes your circulating testosterone to rise significantly -- and having one in the morning can goose your natural post-dawn testosterone surge. It's a sure bet you'll burn a little fat, too.

Stick With Tough Exercises

To beef up your testosterone levels, the bulk of your workout should involve "compound" weight-lifting exercises that train several large muscle groups, and not just one or two smaller muscles. For example, studies have shown that doing squats, bench presses or back rows increases testosterone more than doing biceps curls or triceps pushdowns, even though the effort may seem the same. This is why doing squats could help you build bigger biceps.

Make Nuts Your Midnight Snack

Nuts are good for your nuts. Research has found that men who ate diets rich in monounsaturated fat -- the kind found in peanuts -- had the highest testosterone levels. "It's not known why this occurs, but some scientists believe that monounsaturated fats have a direct effect on the testes," says Incledon. Nuts, olive oil, canola oil and peanut butter are good sources of monounsaturated fat.

Squeeze Out Five Repetitions per Set

Throwing around 5-pound dumbbells won't help you effect a rise in testosterone. Start off by using a heavy weight that you can lift only five times. That weight is about 85 percent of your one-repetition maximum. A Finnish study found that this workload produced the greatest boosts in testosterone.

Do Three Sets of Each Weight-Lifting Movement

Researchers at Penn State determined that this fosters greater increases in testosterone than just one or two sets. Rest a full minute between sets, so you can regain enough strength to continue lifting at least 70 percent of your one-rep maximum during the second and third sets.

Rest Harder Than You Work Out

If you overtrain -- meaning you don't allow your body to recuperate adequately between training sessions -- your circulating testosterone levels can plunge by as much as 40 percent, according to a study at the University of North Carolina. The symptoms of overtraining are hard to miss: irritability, insomnia, muscle shrinkage, joining the Reform Party. To avoid overtraining, make sure you sleep a full eight hours at night, and never stress the same muscles with weight-lifting movements two days in a row.

Drive Home Sober

"Binge drinking will kill your testosterone levels," warns Incledon. Alcohol affects the endocrine system, causing your testes to stop producing the male hormone.

Have a Sandwich at 3 p.m.

As any sensible woman knows, the way to put hair on a man's chest is to fill his stomach. Your body needs a ready supply of calories to make testosterone, so regularly skipping meals or going for long stretches without eating can cause your levels of the hormone to plummet. Then again, that's probably the warden's plan.



Offline Shaunypoo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #170 on: March 05, 2012, 08:44:21 AM »
Dear heavy I am posting this question for a friend while not a marriage question it is related to sex well sort of. This friend would like to know how do you get the dead hooker smell out of the trunk of a car. He has asked a few of his fellow congressman but as usual there fix involves spending a few billion on the problem. To make matters worse it is not his car and he needs to return it to that nice lobbyist man who lent him the car ( and the hooker) He really needs to put this behind him so he can get back to work on his speech on family values. Please help.

Time to call the Wolf.  That's all you have say.

Offline liftsboxes

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #171 on: March 05, 2012, 09:48:02 AM »
Time to call the Wolf.  That's all you have say.

That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.

Offline chrisdfw

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #172 on: March 07, 2012, 05:17:23 PM »
Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.

I'm going to echo the advice of those who say to get his testosterone checked. This isn't normal.

Testosterone does good things for men, and without it, we suffer many undesirable effects, including the loss of interest in boom, boom, but also increased body weight, difficulty concentrating, decreased bone density, increased risk of injury, etc.

The answer is usually exercise and diet changes, together.

exercise is self explanatory, but diet changes aren't to cut out fatty foods and eat soy.

I'd suggest the following
stop eating wheat
eat more nuts, almonds are especially good
meat, red meat especially

fat and cholesterol are important for both brain and testosterone production

Sometimes its a viscious cycle, men gain wieght, stop exercising, decide to lose weight and cut out fat, which decreases testosterone and makes it harder to lose weight. Start with the exercise and eat some steak and shrimp with a salad, skip the rolls.

I've been able to increase my testosterone, nearly doubling it, from a relatively normal 450 to almost 800. I feel great, and stronger, faster, and more productive at work than ever, I feel like I am 16 again. I talked a drinking buddy into trying it and while he doesn't have any test results, he reports increased libido, alertness, and a general feeling like superman.

your mileage may vary, but getting a testosterone blood check is the first step, but don't get drugs (shots or cream) until trying diet.

---- warning, you have reached the end of any potentially useful advice, it was hard to be serious for so long -------

If that doesn't work and he wants to outsource the boom boom, I still have slots available on tuesday afternoon and thursday morning.

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #173 on: March 07, 2012, 06:00:27 PM »
I'm wondering if I haven't been increasing my testosterone without even knowing it.  I haven't had it tested. 

But I slowly lost weight (about 40 pounds over six months) and have kept it off.  I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm in my mid 40s.

I exercise a lot.  Between one and two hours at the gym six times a week.

I eat lots of nuts, especially almonds.  I eat almond butter probably every other day.  I eat red meat a normal amount.  I am not on a low-fat diet.

Interesting.


Offline Roundabouts

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #174 on: March 07, 2012, 06:50:54 PM »

---- warning, you have reached the end of any potentially useful advice, it was hard to be serious for so long -------

If that doesn't work and he wants to outsource the boom boom, I still have slots available on tuesday afternoon and thursday morning.

Hubby says nah I'd rather increase my T.    I reminded him  in order to be prepared we should have a back up plan.  He said that's why we have batteries.  ;) :rofl:  He cracks me up sometimes. 

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #175 on: March 07, 2012, 08:00:28 PM »
Send me some questions (real or fake).  You can ask me in this thread of PM me.

Offline Docwatmo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #176 on: March 07, 2012, 08:03:45 PM »
A friend of mine, who shall stay nameless (See TexDaddy, Told ya I could keep it a secret).  Asked me to ask you......



 ;)

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #177 on: March 07, 2012, 08:10:03 PM »
Oh, Doc, if it's about your "problem," I told you to eat lots of mangos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp4YpEShSKY

Offline Docwatmo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #178 on: March 07, 2012, 09:24:52 PM »
MMMMM Mango.   Problem solved.   G, Your a genius!!  8) ;D ;D

Offline DocRokRx

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #179 on: March 08, 2012, 01:10:29 AM »
make sure you get the right kind of mango, you don't want to upset the wife....


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