Author Topic: Heavy G's marriage advice column  (Read 94517 times)

Offline chrisdfw

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #180 on: March 08, 2012, 09:02:35 AM »
I'm wondering if I haven't been increasing my testosterone without even knowing it.  I haven't had it tested. 

But I slowly lost weight (about 40 pounds over six months) and have kept it off.  I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm in my mid 40s.

I exercise a lot.  Between one and two hours at the gym six times a week.

I eat lots of nuts, especially almonds.  I eat almond butter probably every other day.  I eat red meat a normal amount.  I am not on a low-fat diet.

Interesting.

Probably, I'm not a physician, but spent months researching diet and testosterone, it sounds like you found the plan yoursef. the real physical manifestation is higher sex drive and possibly incrfeased frequency of erections.

Offline Greywolf27

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #181 on: March 08, 2012, 09:13:45 AM »
Probably, I'm not a physician, but spent months researching diet and testosterone, it sounds like you found the plan yoursef. the real physical manifestation is higher sex drive and possibly incrfeased frequency of erections.

Is that why Mrs. Heavy G has been calling into the show more often?

Offline FrugalFannie

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #182 on: March 08, 2012, 11:04:03 AM »
I'm wondering if I haven't been increasing my testosterone without even knowing it.  I haven't had it tested. 

But I slowly lost weight (about 40 pounds over six months) and have kept it off.  I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm in my mid 40s.

I exercise a lot.  Between one and two hours at the gym six times a week.

I eat lots of nuts, especially almonds.  I eat almond butter probably every other day.  I eat red meat a normal amount.  I am not on a low-fat diet.

Interesting.

Physical activity increases testosterone levels. I have been told (by male instructors) that after a good workout a man should feel a bit 'randy' or he hasn't worked hard enough (or maybe too hard).

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #183 on: April 05, 2012, 08:14:03 PM »
Here's a PM with a great question:

"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"

Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.

But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom.  Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose the amount of ammo to get.  If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first.  Repeat as necessary.  Then go with 70,000 rounds.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2012, 08:52:43 AM by Heavy G »

Offline cheryl1

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #184 on: April 06, 2012, 07:30:57 AM »
 :rofl:

Offline Shaunypoo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #185 on: April 06, 2012, 07:47:08 AM »
I'm sensing a trend. ???

Offline Docwatmo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #186 on: April 06, 2012, 07:48:43 AM »
True Genius my friend,  Boom Boom AND Bullets?  How can you go wrong.

Offline Greywolf27

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #187 on: April 06, 2012, 08:40:37 AM »
Here's a PM with a great question:

"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"

Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.

But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom.  Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose.  If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first.  Repeat as necessary.  Then go with 70,000 rounds.

Once they decide on an amount, 50, 70, 100... etc.... I think more boom boom would be in order.

Offline Shaunypoo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #188 on: April 06, 2012, 08:52:23 AM »
Once they decide on an amount, 50, 70, 100... etc.... I think more boom boom would be in order.

At what point are they going to actually get the ammo?

Your advice is great, but when does anything else get done?  Not that I am complaining.

Offline atherts

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #189 on: April 06, 2012, 09:01:39 AM »
Puts boom stick in a whole different light.  ;)

Here's a PM with a great question:

"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"

Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.

But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom.  Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose the amount of ammo to get.  If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first.  Repeat as necessary.  Then go with 70,000 rounds.

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #190 on: April 06, 2012, 09:05:00 AM »

At what point are they going to actually get the ammo?

Your advice is great, but when does anything else get done?  Not that I am complaining.


When does anything get done?  The "tie" I speak of is a monumental thing.   ;D 

I know, I know, you mean when does actual stuff get done.  Dunno.  But having the minimum 20,000 rounds and a "tie" now and again is a hell of a way to live.

Offline Outdoorfury

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #191 on: April 06, 2012, 09:15:20 AM »
Here's a PM with a great question:

"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"

Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.

But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom.  Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose the amount of ammo to get.  If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first.  Repeat as necessary.  Then go with 70,000 rounds.

Seriously? I would die to have that problem!!!!!!!!! But that is some good advice HG!

Offline Outdoorfury

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #192 on: April 06, 2012, 09:17:24 AM »
At what point are they going to actually get the ammo?

Your advice is great, but when does anything else get done?  Not that I am complaining.

Its just a 9 month delay for something to get done...  8)

Offline DocRokRx

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #193 on: April 06, 2012, 09:16:23 PM »
But having the minimum 20,000 rounds and a "tie" now and again is a hell of a way to live.
Quite possibly the best quote I've noticed since I've been on the forum :)

Offline soupbone

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #194 on: April 13, 2012, 05:40:51 PM »
Marriage Advice?!? I don' need no steenkin' marriage advice!!! Whenever things get tense around here, I just whip up a batch of SISTER WOLF'S FAMOUS HAPPY BROWNIE THINGIES. The Mrs. melts, and I get peace and quiet (sort of).   ;D

soup

PS: Ask Sis for the recipe..............

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #195 on: April 13, 2012, 08:20:14 PM »
Soup:

You know that it's not really "oregano" she puts in those brownies, right?

Offline soupbone

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #196 on: April 14, 2012, 09:12:12 AM »
Soup:

You know that it's not really "oregano" she puts in those brownies, right?

Uh, G, the "oregano" trick doesn't really work. If you put "oregano" on them, she won't remember eating them, so you're back to square one.   :(  You're better off letting the chocolate do it's thing.     ;)

soup

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #197 on: April 14, 2012, 10:37:59 AM »
Here's a PM from a forum member:

             "I understand that men will do anything for boom boom.  Clean the attic, mow the grass, etc.  I get that.  I also understand that as a woman I can get stuff done by dangling a little boom boom."

             "But here's my question: why should it take boom boom to get things done?  Why won't my guy just WANT to clean the attic, mow the grass and things like that?  Why must I dangle boom boom?"

If you're concerned that there's a "trade" for cleaning the attic in exchange for boom boom, and he should just WANT to clean the attic, I say look at it from his perspective: you should just WANT to boom boom.  That's what he's thinking.

This thing about not wanting to "trade" boom boom for anything gets to the point about expectations for the elevated stature of boom boom.  It is special.  It's not a commodity. 

But we're all busy people. 

I used to try to make the boom boom set up perfect: when she's rested, has nothing she needs to get done, candle light, etc.  Here's how that turned out: once every couple of months she was rested, there was some God-awful DVD with Meryl Streep, and it was a couple hours past when I usually fall asleep (because I get up at 4:00 am).  So if the "perfect conditions" are the standard, there will functionally be no boom boom.  (And, by extension, no attic cleaning.)

So you have to manage the boom boom.  Just like anything else that involves time, you need to manage it. 

"Manage" is such an icky word, she'll say; shouldn't we wait for a glass of wine and a Meryl Streep movie?  No, not if you want a functional boom boom life.  It takes time to plan out opportunities for the special thing that is boom boom.  Yes, plan it out. 

I marvel at how some people spend more time planning out when to get their oil changed than when to have some boom boom.  What's more important: an oil change every 3,000 miles or some boom boom sooner than every couple months?  If that's a hard question to answer, I've made my point.  (All the guys had an easy time answering that.)

PS: Don't take the time management thing too far.  Guys, don't use the term "schedule" (as in, "when can we schedule some boom boom?").  It's not a dentist appointment.  Not unless you're into some really weird stuff.

Offline cheryl1

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #198 on: April 14, 2012, 01:16:23 PM »
What's more important: an oil change every 3,000 miles or some boom boom sooner than every couple months?

EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS!!!!!! Seriously? People live like that? :o

Offline Docwatmo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #199 on: April 14, 2012, 01:18:08 PM »
Thats what this thread is all about, fixing the quarterly boom boom limit.  ;)

Offline cheryl1

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #200 on: April 14, 2012, 01:28:56 PM »
That's just sad. Maybe you men should go on strike and institute a quarterly conversation limit. When you are feeling perfectly up to it, she is entitled to one conversation per three month period.

Offline Docwatmo

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #201 on: April 14, 2012, 02:23:57 PM »
Genious Cheryl  ;D ;D ;D

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #202 on: April 14, 2012, 03:45:41 PM »

EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS!!!!!! Seriously? People live like that? :o


Not this cowboy. 

I'm just saying that's where it could drift if people don't manage the situation.

Offline soupbone

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #203 on: April 14, 2012, 03:56:50 PM »
"Boom-boom", I remember that, I think. Isn't that where you assume the proper position, take a good hold on your piece and gently squeeze the......? No, wait a minute - that was range practice. "Boom-boom", hang on - it'll come to me in a second here......... ehh..........ah........uh.........

Aw heck, when it comes to me, I'll post.

soup

Offline bentwanderer

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #204 on: April 25, 2012, 05:29:13 PM »
I'm a feminist (and a lady lol) and I'm not bothered. You're saying a whole lot of "men will do anything for more sex" sooo....that kinda makes y'all look stupid, not us. Plus, we all knew that already ;)
We are not stupid; we just work cheap!

Offline bentwanderer

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #205 on: April 25, 2012, 05:54:54 PM »
Define "normal".

I am not saying this is normal and most of you won't believe me. Tho it is the flat out truth. The guys that believe me are going to hate me; and the ladies that believe me are going to hate her. For the 17 years of my marriage;every morning i awoke in the same general area as my wife; she woke me by giving me a "french ' lesson. If you know what i mean.

Offline bentwanderer

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #206 on: April 25, 2012, 05:57:54 PM »
4x a day! Obviously these answers have been skewed by bias in favor of the estrogen challenged among us.
You may have found the answer.lol

Offline Heavy G

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #207 on: May 03, 2012, 01:30:30 PM »
Put this up on the white board in our kitchen where we coordinate all the family's activities:



Works every time.  And it worked well for Mrs. Heavy G...

Everyone's a winner.  Except the weeds in the yard.

Offline ncjeeper

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #208 on: May 04, 2012, 12:33:57 PM »
We just use post it notes.
On this weekends list so far I have:
*round up
*weed eat
*pick up more mulch and red bricks
*clean the ac coils
*Adjust the driveway security camera.
*water the front yard
I think I like your shorter list better G.  :D

Offline ttubravesrock

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Re: Heavy G's marriage advice column
« Reply #209 on: May 04, 2012, 01:00:23 PM »
*Adjust the driveway security camera.
Is this a reactive or proactive measure?