Author Topic: Why wont women carry conceled?  (Read 21856 times)

endurance

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #30 on: July 22, 2012, 01:58:41 AM »
It's interesting that one of my wife's friends who's never talked about guns enrolled in a CHL class on Friday.  Another friend that my wife introduced her to last summer is an avid shooter, so she'll have a good gun mentor.  They both have toddlers right now (which is why my wife introduced them to each other), so it should be an interesting story to watch develop.  Not your typical permit holder, but I think Friday morning made a lot of folks in Denver stop and think about what they would have done.

Offline herewego

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #31 on: July 24, 2012, 08:44:31 AM »
I wonder why more women don't carry concealed also. I have my CHL and I carry everyday, on my person. Let me begin by telling you a little about me. I am 5'4", around 125 lbs, 28 years old, and I normally wear tighter-fitting clothing, but on occasion will don a baggy t-shirt. I only tell my closest friends/family that I carry, and no one else has any idea. Apparently I don't look like a stereotypical gun-lovin' fool. I'm giving all these details because I run into women all the time who have one excuse after another about why they can't carry...I'm too big/small, I don't want to change my wardrobe, I'm too young/old, etc, etc...

I carry a Sig p238 as my EDC because it is loads of fun (and easy) to shoot with very little recoil when compared to other teeny handguns I have tried like a little 38 special revolver that kicked my butt and a Body Guard which is equally annoying. Also, the 238 is easy to conceal and has a manual safety.

I have 2 children, so safety is so important. I will NOT carry my handgun in a purse or bag because like some of you have already noted, it is way too easy to lose or be stolen. Another reason is that as long as it is on me, I can control it and I always know where it is, and my children cannot get to it. My older child has been educated on gun safety for years and she understands the dangers and does not touch them. The little one, however, is a different story, and he gets into everything. It is not a risk I will take.

I use a Butscher's Leather (horsehide) in the waistband holster most often. I chose this one over a Crossbreed mini tuck (mini tuck because the 238 is itty bitty) for two reasons. One, because it was almost half price (yay!) and two, because it is made in Texas (where I live). The other holster I use is an ankle holster. I bought a cheap one and it gets pretty uncomfortable if I don't have long socks on, but I prefer to wear it with boots.

The IWB holster must be used with a belt. It is most comfortable for me on the right side of my back (about 4 o'clock), but sometimes I will wear it in the small of my back. I often reach my hand around and feel for my handgun because, believe it or not, I have gotten so used to wearing it, I often don't feel it.

I think more women need to carry...and feel confident carrying. When I decided to get my CHL I went to a gun range and rented a ton of handguns to try (my favorites were a 1911 and a Glock 27, but I had to take concealability into consideration and that kicked the 1911 to the curb). The important thing is to carry something you feel comfortable shooting. Something you are good with. If it's a 22, carry a 22! They are super easy to shoot and the ammo is cheap. If it's a 380 (like the Sig p238), carry one of those! If it's a 9mm, carry one of those! It doesn't matter as long as you are comfortable carrying it and shooting it.

One other ridiculously important thing to do when you do begin to carry everyday, is to practice not only shooting your EDC, but practice drawing from your holsters and shooting!

I try to stay away from "dangerous" places, but even your home becomes a dangerous place when someone is trying to break in.

If any of you ladies will be at the Self Reliance Expo in Arlington on Friday, I will be there and would love to talk to you. Have a splendid day!
« Last Edit: July 24, 2012, 08:56:20 AM by herewego »

Offline shambo

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #32 on: July 24, 2012, 07:40:45 PM »
God Bless You herewego.  youwere the kind of woman i hoped was out there.  we need more of you.  No. "I am too short,  my boobs are too big  ,  Its uncomfortable,  Its too  much hastle,  guns are to loud,  too scary,  .   that's what i love about your attitude herewego is   no excuses.. God Bless Texas!  I wished I could go to Texas to shake your hand.  I hope you meet other women at the expo and inspire the way I know you will.
After talking with my wife, she admitted why she doesnt carry,  she said she is not confident enough to make the life and death decision in a  presumed split second.  We are taking tactical training together and shoot ing together alot more often.  She has a 9mm she likes and that helps.  I will have her read your previous post.  Hopefully she will get something out of it.

Offline herewego

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #33 on: July 26, 2012, 09:12:47 AM »
shambo, it is completely understandable that your wife feels that way. It really is a huge decision that should never be taken lightly. Yes, there is a big part of me that feels stronger when I wear my handgun, but don't get me wrong. Everyday I put it on I pray to all that is that I won't be in a situation where I will have to use it, but I know I can if I need to. It takes a little time to become comfortable with a gun, especially one that is loaded and on your person. My husband tried for a couple of years to get me to get my CHL and begin to carry. It wasn't until I saw the value in it that I made the decision to do so, and when I made that decision I jumped right in!
The way I see it is self-defense is absolutely imperative. I have a responsibility to protect myself, my family, and those around me. I would love to learn martial arts and be able to disable an attacker with my bare hands, but it would NOT take the place of a handgun. Why? Because in order for me to do that the person would have to be within arm's reach of me. And that my friend is a situation with far too many variables.
Good luck with everything, and best of luck to your wife on her journey. It's exciting!

Offline callmesarah

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #34 on: August 11, 2012, 09:25:48 PM »
I carry every time I go out I used to carry a Glock 26, with a crossbreed holster. I live in the north so it's easy to carry when it starts getting cold out. But during the summer of the first year I had my CPL I changed my tune pretty quick about my glock 26, it's a double stack mag and was showing way to much for my liking. So I bought a Taurus tcp .380 and carried that. Well my husband didn't like that to much and kept pestering me to carry my G26 again, but I was so used to the smaller gun by then I didn't want to. lol
So I sold the Taurus and bought a Kahr CM9 9mm, only a single stack and haven't looked back since.
I've always carried in the same place no matter what gun. On my back right hip, I'm a small girl just FYI.

About women who don't carry:
Our three close male friends (all are married) are CPL holders and have been for years, the wives are supportive and cool with shooting guns but none of them want to carry  :o  I just don't understand it, even after all the long talks about "what if?" Kinda drives me nuts.... one of them even has her CPL and refuses to carry. I don't get it....

~Sarah

Offline PorcupineKate

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #35 on: August 12, 2012, 11:29:56 AM »
I am lucky to know quite a few women who carry all the time.  I don't carry all the time but I should.  There are many issues in carrying for women that men may not realize.    Women often need to buy several different kinds of holsters, new clothes, belts and a small enough gun that can be hidden.   

Most holsters are designed for a 5'11' tall male with a average to long torso.  If I wear one of these with my short curvy torso with it located on my side I run into a few problems.

Most of my pants don't have belt loops.  Those that do won't take a 1 1/4" belt.   Skirts, and suits are also useless in the belt department.   If I wear the holster in the usual spot on the side it doesn't sit right.   Men widest point is their shoulders.  On me it is my hips.  The holster pops out and sits way out from my waist.  It not only makes it impossible to hide but it gets in the way of seat belts, chair arms and other everyday things.

To top it off I need to get my hands up to my arm pit to get the gun out of the holster.  This takes serious practice. 

Pocket holsters don't often work for women because our pants have really shallow pockets.  You sit down and the holster pops out of your pocket.   This is a bigger problem for women with curvy hips and thighs. 

Low rise pants are useless for hiding a gun.   It puts the waist band of the pants right across the hips which makes hiding the gun harder.

Many women I know use belly bands.  I get them large enough to wear on my hips so I can wear a gun with out belt loops.  Others have it under their boobs.   I don't have enough boobs to hid the gun there.  Finding a belly band that is comfortable and the velco dig into you can be a trick.  I have a box of belly bands I don't like and I am still looking for a comfortable one.

Small of the back holsters I nice as long as you can wear a decent belt.  Most women's clothing doesn't allow for a decent belt.  If you try and wear anything other than jeans you are often out of luck.   

Boot leg cut pants are great for ankle holsters and many women I know use them in the winter months.    If you have knee or ankle problems any weight on an ankle is a really bad idea.

Thigh holsters only work in movies.... It might work for someone with thin slightly bow legged legs.  Most women big or small do not have those kind of legs.  A knife is much easier to wear on a thigh holster.

Things have gotten easier in the last few years.  You can know get "long line" shirts.  A few years ago every top was so short you couldn't easy cover the bulge of the gun. Forget sitting down...

I also carry a Kahr 9mm MK.  The single stack semi autos are easier to carry but it is still hard to find a good holster to fit women. 

There is no one size fits all solution to carrying a gun for women.  The manufactures haven't really catered to the women.  There are  some over prices and/or rather ugly purse options and few random holster that can not be gotten for all types of gun.  Almost all of it is special order because you can't find any of it in a store to try on first.    It makes figure out how to carry time consuming and expensive.


Offline DCAL

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #36 on: November 08, 2012, 03:38:00 AM »
http://www.thewellarmedwoman.com/apps/store/web/view/profile/itemid/39311/default.asp

The Well Armed Woman website,I have found, is a pretty good site covering, what else, women and guns.  :). Anyway, she has quite a few different holster options.  The link above is for The Betty holster, which I hope to get soon!  She also has videos for all the holsters she sells showing how they work and fit.  The owner of the site seems to have somewhat of a small stature, which I do ,too (5' 7" 130 lbs.) so it's helpful for me.  However she also has videos of more full figured women and what they do!  I definitely DO NOT have the cleavage to be able to even consider a flashbang holster!    ;D

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Offline FrugalFannie

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #37 on: November 08, 2012, 06:02:37 AM »
I have never been a slave to fashion (heck,my husband owns more pairs of shoes than I do) but my work environment clothing is not 'gun friendly.' I own a personal training company so have, until recently, lived in gym clothes for a long time. Even tried using cargopants/shorts but as several have pointed out the pockets, even on women's cargo pants, are too tiny ad carrying on the waist when demonstrating exercise is not feasible.

I also have a very short hip area and torso in relation to the rest of my bodywhich means anything on my hips will be digging into my side/rib cage and possibly digging into my leg at the same time. The double stacks are also very difficult to hide on my body. I currently carry a Sig239 (9mm) in a Crossbreed supertuck. Since I almost never work directly with clients anymore I can wear jeans to work. When I am in gym clothes I keep it under my car seat in a case like this http://www.gunvault.com/handgun-safes/nano-vault.html/.

I love the Crossbreed but even that has had to get some breaking in. There is too much leather for me and pieces of it are curling at the top and bottom. I will be trying to figure out how to neatly trim it for me.
 
I also have a smaller .380 with a minituck that I can carry. I could actually carry this fairly well in dress pants I think. If I carried a purse I could also put it in there with a pocket holster.


Offline CBP

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #38 on: November 12, 2012, 05:52:43 PM »
Guilty! I have my concealed license (10 years)  and almost never carry.  I won't carry in the very small crossbody bag I use..I prefer no bag but pants pockets are too small.  I don't ever wear a belt.  I have a IWB for my Bersa, but I still have to watch fitted clothing.  Winter clothing is no problem. . . summer doesn't work at all and I don't even start to wear anything regarded as skimpy.  No fashion statements here, just comfort and conceal issues.

I'm going to muddy things up as I'm looking to upgrade guns. .. . . Beretta Cheetah . . . . and I can't find anything that will match to this point.  I want more rounds than the Bersa.

I'm right handed and prefer to carry the gun on my left side, shielded by my arm and it usually doesn't rub the ribcage too much.

I frankly don't give it much thought until today.  I was at Walmart 9 a.m. and the guy who checked out in front of me was hanging around after he was done.   Gave me a moment to pause.  Typically I carry more in this area of town during the Christmas season.


Bonnieblue2A

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #39 on: November 13, 2012, 09:33:24 AM »
I would like to know how they carry too.  Great question.  Had a talk with hubby today about this thread.  he felt that a woman could carry just like a man would.  So I had him hold his gun up to me then I sat down Ok yeah this won't work.  He started looking at me from a new view point and came to the conclusion that a very small gun is in order.  He can't figure out where I could possibly carry that wouldn't be extremely difficult unless I never sat down.  Even on my leg seems like it would be difficult.  Then how would you get to it quickly?   So defiantly would like to hear from others.  Especially those 5' and under with a big chest.

As a short waisted well endowed woman I agree completely about the comfort factor. There are very few holster makers who design cants specifically for women of certain body shapes. It is no fun being constantly stuck in the ribs when trying to just get by with a poorly designed holster. I suspect that the demand for IWB holsters for women will remain low enough that ones of good quality will remain of limited availability and NOT found off the shelf at your favorite gunshop or sporting goods store. Face it, women like to try on stuff before they buy it and we simply cannot do this with custom women's holsters ordered online.

Being a safety Nazi, I'm not personally willing to appendix carry. Any AD/ND is too likely to go through the femoral artery; a most unforgiving injury, IMO. YMMV

Purse snatching happens all the time? I guess that depends upon where one lives and if the woman looks like food to predators when she is out in public. I've purse carried x 10 yrs. in purses specifically designed for the task (usually Galco) and never lost/lain down my purse inappropriately nor had it snatched. Additionally, if visiting friends with children I use the zipper lock on the purse for the holster compartment and if leaving the purse unattended, lock it in my suitcase.

I train at the range drawing from the purse and getting on target and firing quickly and accurately, especially in low light. A plus, IMO, is in CQB: a revolver carried in the purse can be fired at the threat in close contact THROUGH the purse if required to defend oneself from unwelcome imminent lethal force.

Walking the dog in the neighborhood I'll use the fanny pack (screams gun) or wilderness Safepacker. On the homestead property I have no problem with open carry; however, I do not OC in public, ever, period.  Again, just my personal preference and phlilosophy, YMMV.

Offline CBP

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #40 on: November 14, 2012, 02:19:25 PM »
I ran across this and it looks interesting. . . .  http://www.pistolwear.com/ProductDetail.jsp?LISTID=ia1321496070781 

Offline Mocowgirl

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #41 on: February 26, 2013, 08:43:20 AM »
Just speaking of myself, I find many concealed areas very uncomfortable. I have my ccw, but thankfully MO is an open carry state ( though some towns\counties have limitations to the law). I carry low on my hip as I find that the most comfortable for me...let's face it, they really don't think much about a womans figure when designing holsters. Imo, carrying in a purse is just not efficient unless the gun is the only thing in the purse...and then you have someone like me who carries a small backpack rather than a purse. My holster was made for me it sits on my hip rather than at my waist. Think of a shorter version of a western holster. It allows me free access while seated, or standing.

Offline Roundabouts

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #42 on: February 26, 2013, 10:31:48 AM »
Ok so I figured I had better post this here too.  I found a great way to carry. 

http://stores.kakaduofcentraloregon.com/StoreFront.bok

BOTH hubby and myself love it.  You can read my feed back here

http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=40896.0

even unzipped and left open the gun and clips stay snug and hidden in their holsters.  So far no stretching or looseness has occurred.  Can't even really feel it.  The vest is light weight enough can wear it without getting over heated.  I have hot flashes so that is a plus.  I have also worn it in 32F and with a heavy shirt and a fleece jacket under it was still warm enough even for hubby. 

A friend of ours tried them on and he said he liked then too.  Went over the bit of the beer belly he had and still concealed nicely without being baggy or restrictive.

The one thing that I would say about them is if you are a woman on the thin side they may be baggy and boxy for you or your style but then most likely it would be easier for you to find other means.  Not saying that to be rude I use to be 105 lbs I am not now by a long shot. So I know first hand how things fit differently.  I don't think I would like these as well when I was smaller.    Still have not tried the jackets yet maybe next winter. 

Offline cheryl1

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #43 on: March 02, 2013, 11:18:33 AM »
I've about given up on finding something comfortable and completely concealed. No matter what I wear, I have some kind of tell tale bulge.

Funny story-I did have an aquaintance ask me if I was pregnant. Nope, just trying a new position for my gun!

endurance

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #44 on: March 02, 2013, 11:21:21 AM »
...

Funny story-I did have an aquaintance ask me if I was pregnant. Nope, just trying a new position for my gun!
;D That sure would have been awkward if she came up and put her hand on your belly to feel the baby. :o

Offline cheryl1

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #45 on: March 02, 2013, 12:42:26 PM »
Ha! Wait till I pull the twin out of my purse  :D

Offline MaineMerrie

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #46 on: March 23, 2013, 01:24:46 PM »
When I worked nights I carried in a ankle holster under my uniform pants. My employer nor anyone else even knew but I was making night deposits at midnight.  Now I carry in my purse again no one knows (against company policy) but I would rather get fired than be dead. Unfortunately this is the best I can do for now as the professional dress does not really allow for on the body carry. I do carry on my belt when I am home and out on my property.


Offline TexasGal

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #47 on: March 26, 2013, 06:08:50 PM »
As one poster already mentioned, it's much easier to carry in the winter when I wear jackets and bulky sweaters. I have a Ruger LCR, with a Fobus holster. I like the fact that I don't have to wear a belt with that particular holster...it fits nicely over my jeans on the back of my hip. I'll usually take it off when I get in the car so the seat belt doesn't jack with it, slip it back on before I get out of the car. Summer days are a challenge, so I'll carry my little Taurus .22 in my pocket as I don't usually wear extremely tight fitting clothes, especially with our heat.

It only takes a second for something to go terribly wrong. Women get abducted in broad daylight from shopping centers and grocery store parking lots. For me personally, I figure what's the point in having it if I'm not going to carry. Even at home, if my comfortable clothes don't allow for me to wear it on my hip, I carry it with me or its in my pocket. It won't do me any good if I'm upstairs and my weapon is in my nightstand or purse, and someone breaks through the back door. We live in a relatively safe neighborhood, but in the 12 years we've lived here, there's been an escapee from a nearby jail and a couple of houses that have been burglarized during the day...including the house across the street from us. It takes more thought and effort to carry, and yes it can be uncomfortable and a pain in the butt, but I wouldn't trade for the peace of mind it gives me knowing that I have it...just my 2 cents :)

FYI, my child is older, so I don't have to worry about him climbing all over me-that would definitely put a whole new twist on carrying!

Offline The Chihuahua has Spoken

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #48 on: April 21, 2013, 09:51:28 AM »
I carry all the time.  In the winter, a 9mm, now that the bears are coming out of hibernation, a .45.  I use a Crossbreed holster, I have both Inside the Waistband (IWB) and outside.  I used to live in the Florida Keys for over 10 years.  I carried a 9 mil Keltec in a fanny pack down there.  It's hot all the time.  Clean the pistol often, as it will rust in your pack if you don't.... 
Maxpedition has concealed velcro pouches in their packs as well.  My experiences have led me to realize that I no longer care what other people think or whether it's uncomfortable to carry.  It's my life, and they certainly won't be there to defend me when something happens, and they WILL Monday morning quarterback what happens and why somehow, it will never happen to them because they wouldn't do such and such. 
I'm not going down without a fight.  I will not just up and die, leaving my loved ones with the survivors guilt of "if only I had made her train more, or encouraged her more, she'd have been wearing this gun and still been alive."
I have had other women tell me that they're safer with me because I'll watch out for the bad guy, and handle it.  I don't hang around with those adult children anymore.  We are each responsible for our safety.  I am not somebody's bodyguard.  I am not going to shoot the bad guy that was drawn to us because they walked around in condition white, with a big sign saying please attack us, I'm helpless and all I will do is scream "oh please no".  I'm not going to be the one stuck with the legal system because of their carefree attitude.  Bullbeeps.  If a bad guy invades my house or attacks me in public, he brought the fight to my door and he deserves what he gets.  I've got people that love me and it'll leave a big hole in their life if I'm not in it.

Also, about the safe neighborhoods - when I lived in the Keys, there was a SWAT team breaking in the door of a 2 level house right across the street.  The main floor was upstairs, the garage was downstairs.  They had just broken in and some were standing there on the balcony looking down at a woman pushing a baby carriage, talking on her cellphone.  She was saying, I kid you not; "Oh, this neighborhood is safe, nothing ever happens here..."  Walking around in condition white, with a tiny baby that would bring at least 10,000 dollars on the black market for babies, with a SWAT team watching her.  She never even noticed them.  I bet she never thought about how much ransom or black market money that little baby would bring.  Unless you're the police, you don't really know how safe your neighborhood is.  After hurricanes, we'd have looters coming down from Miami, so yes, bad guys do travel.

I've come close to being killed.  I've been attacked.  I've been stalked.  What do you think it'll feel like to the person who comes in the house and finds your dead body?  How will their life change?  It's not like they will just have your funeral and then go calmly to work on Monday, and clear out all the clothes from your closet and your blood stain from the floor and move on.  They will always carry that regret with them.  They may fall into alcoholism or drug abuse.  Their life will fall apart.  It's the little things that get you, like going to bed and smelling your scent on the pillow.  Do you know what it's like to survive an attack?  Do you know what it's like to not know whether you are going to live or die at the hands of a man or men with no mercy?  I have been changed forever.
If you were raped and lived, did you just get Hepatitis or AIDS?  Will you give that to your husband or future partners?  Can you donate blood to your children if they should have an accident and need a transfusion?  What about the internal damage from rape?  It certainly changes intimacy, and not in a good way.  There's scars from it, you know.  Are you going to testify if anyone is caught?  They all know where you live, and that you don't keep your weapon handy, or are more scared of a gun than a gang of bad guys.
Also, next time you go out in public and you and a man walk past each other, look him in the eyes and don't look away until he does, and see what happens.  I bet you are so used to glancing away that you don't even realize it.  Certain men are convinced that if you look them in the eyes, you are giving them the "come on", that you are interested in them.  (This is not what happened to me, it was because of what happened to me that I became aware of it.)  Be careful out there, not everyone thinks like you do.

Sorry to be a downer on this conversation, but I've lived with the results of having been actively discouraged to protect myself.  A few seconds and your life is changed forever.
So any of you that want to know some techniques for handling nightmares and post traumatic stress syndrome and such like, I might have a couple of suggestions.
I'm a Chihuahua in a Rottweiler world and I know it.  That's why I carry an equalizer. 

Bonnieblue2A

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #49 on: April 30, 2013, 06:45:46 PM »
Outstanding post Chihuahua. You have both my empathy and my respect.

Many, many women come by CCW as a lifestyle only following an attack. I think we owe it to our daughters and our friends to try to educate them before they too come to this realization too late. But, at the end of the day all we can do is raise awareness and instruct those with a willingness to accept personal responsibility for their self-defense and hunger to learn. We can't give them the mindset for situational awareness or protect them.

Offline The Chihuahua has Spoken

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Re: Why wont women carry conceled?
« Reply #50 on: May 01, 2013, 03:12:55 PM »
Thanks.  It was difficult to write that.  I was just reading Boston Tea Party's book for a refresher and he had a hypothetical situation of a woman in a dark alley and a "bad guy".  No wonder so many women think that if they stay out of dark alleys they are perfectly safe, and that any woman who has been attacked was someplace she shouldn't have been.  Not all safety courses teach the proper situational awareness of today's world.  I used to live in the Florida Keys.  Did you know that the Walmart in Homestead Florida (between Miami and the Keys) is one of the most dangerous?  Or that, if you shop at Circuit City or Best Buy in Miami FL, whichever one it is with the "High Hide" security booth, that there are people in their vehicles in that parking lot watching everyone who exits that building.  If it's an easy target, like a petite woman, they will follow her all the way to her house if necessary, and rob her, maybe worse.  Many of the houses there have an attached garage.  Simple matter to dash up before the garage door drops all the way and there you are.  None of the neighbors will see anything.  You've just locked yourself into your dwelling with a criminal.  I know this because my friend was escorted to her car by the store security guard.  He told her to drive straight to the Keys, do not stop for gas or a snack, anything.  He told her all this and she told me.  And she is not given to telling tales.

What a world to leave our kids, eh?