Author Topic: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?  (Read 4273 times)

Offline yodal

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Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« on: October 29, 2012, 11:55:30 AM »
Hello folks,
My wife and I bought a new hand gun about a year ago. I've been trying to get her
to the range to practice with it, but she won't have nothing to do with it! We bought it
mainly for her, for when I'm gone. But she refuses to shoot it. She doesn't like the noise.
Even with ear protection. She's been around guns her whole life so this just doesn't make
sense to me! :)
She tells me if she needs to use it she can... But I saw the way she shot the guns we were trying out
before we bought this one. She's scared of it! I'm worried she won't be able to protect her self if need be.
Any ideas on how to help?
Thanks!
Joe

Offline atherts

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2012, 01:25:56 PM »
Can you buy something smaller to get her started? I bought my wife a LCR in 22 after she tried the LCP, LCR in 38 and 22 and a couple Glocks. She was OK with the LCP, didn't like the kick of the LCR in 38 and neither Glock cut it. The only thing she liked was the 22. I figured some practice was better than none and I wouldn't want to get shot with a 22. We'll work our way up to larger calibres as needed.

Offline backwoods_engineer

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2012, 01:43:27 PM »
I echo atherts comment.  My wife tried shooting all kinds of things: 9's, 45s, .38sp, etc.  The only thing she liked was a 22LR.  I said "Fine, first rule of a gunfight is to have a gun."  If she don't like it, she won't shoot or practice with it.  She won't carry it, either.  My wife likes her 22LR.  Practices with it everytime we go to the range.  Even has a nickname for it ("Cinderella" -- a reference to the Blue grips and nickel-plated slide).

Ya gotta let them get what they like.

There have been plenty of documented kills of bad guys with 22LR pistols.

Offline CharlesH

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2012, 02:22:39 PM »
How involved was she in the purchase decision?  What type handgun did you buy?  I've seen it happen before where a spouse who doesn't share his/her partner's enthusiasm for something appears to go along with a decision/purchase/"great idea" for the sake of avoiding conflict (passive), then dig in their heals after the fact when expected to be a part of whatever the decision involved (aggressive).  I'm reading way between the lines here, but it could be there is more going on in her refusal to get involved than simply not wanting to shoot.  You mentioned fear and that could be it, hence the question about what kind of weapon you bought.  But beyond that, if she only acquiesced to the purchase after feeling like she'd been pushed or bullied into it in the first place then even trying to downgrade to something like a 22LR may not make much difference.  In that case some two way communication is probably in order.  Charles

Melodee

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2012, 04:56:32 PM »
This may sound silly; but being a woman.....  Can you bribe her?  For instance, does she like to go dancing, or the theatre?  You know, mind numbing chick things?  If you're willing to spend an evening doing something that bores you to tears, she might she that you are  truly sincere about this... Just a thought.... 

Offline pokeshell

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2012, 05:44:48 PM »
Can you sign her up for a woman's firearm class, have her take a friend? They sell out around here. Have her take it from some handsome police officer or military.

Is it possible you are not good at instructing her on this? I have 2 things I am quite proficient at, and I can not even give my wife advice on. One is snowboarding, and the other is guns. She does her training and shooting, I do mine. We do take some classes together, but just shooting, I am on my own.

PokeShell

Bonnieblue2A

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2012, 05:47:37 PM »
Hello folks,
My wife and I bought a new hand gun about a year ago. I've been trying to get her
to the range to practice with it, but she won't have nothing to do with it! We bought it
mainly for her, for when I'm gone. But she refuses to shoot it. She doesn't like the noise.
Even with ear protection. She's been around guns her whole life so this just doesn't make
sense to me! :)
She tells me if she needs to use it she can... But I saw the way she shot the guns we were trying out
before we bought this one. She's scared of it! I'm worried she won't be able to protect her self if need be.
Any ideas on how to help?
Thanks!
Joe

We women have more sensitive hearing. So, if your wife still doesn't like the noise, even with hearing protection, she may need to double up with both earplugs and muff style hearing protection.

The reasons she may not want to practice could be any or a combination of many. It might be the firearm chosen (felt recoil). It might be the noise. And, with all due respect, it might be you and the pressure she feels from you to get to the range. For whatever reason, she has not had an enjoyable experience that she looks forward to repeating; rather, it would appear quite the opposite.

Despite the well meaning of spouses and significant others, those closest to the women are often the worst possible individuals to be offering aid and instruction with firearms be it at home, at the gunshop, or at the range.

My suggestion is to help find your wife a "ladies only" firearms class whereby she can train with other womens who may share her concerns, fears, and pet peeves about handling firearms.

Offline PorcupineKate

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2012, 06:27:50 PM »
Bonnieblue has given some great advice. 

 Better hearing protection goes along way. 

A woman's shooting class or shooting group will make a huge difference.   Second Amendment Sisters chapters often have ladies shooting events.  2asisters.org.  I have seen many a lady come around an enjoy shooting with a group of ladies. 

If she hasn't taken it yet suggest a NRA basic pistol course.  It is a great class to help demystify guns.   


Offline backwoods_engineer

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2012, 08:53:48 AM »
+1 for all the advice to encourage her to take a ladies-only pistol course with a lady friend.  My wife took both her Concealed Carry (equivalent to NRA Basic Pistol) and Tactical Pistol classes with a girlfriend, and they had a ball.

Husband as trainer for wife doesn't necessarily work.  Now that my wife is comfortable with her pistol, she does listen to training from me on shotgun and rifles, but she's gotta get a basic level of competency on her own, or with someone besides you.  It's just the way things work with the ladies :-)

Offline yodal

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Re: Wife won't practice with gun! Help?
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2012, 10:34:52 AM »
Good advice folks! Thank you!