Author Topic: He may of gone too far.....or did he?  (Read 3067 times)

The Spamburglar

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He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« on: June 13, 2009, 12:24:06 AM »
Had this e-mailed to me, thought you guys would like it.

Subject:

 Posted to Craig's List Personals:
 

 To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
 
 Downtown Savannah night before last.
 
 Date: 2009-05-10, 3:43AM EST
 
 
 
 I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
 
 hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
 
 You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings..
 
 
 
 I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
 
 I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after
 
 you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
 
 evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
 
 
 
 You see, my girlfriend had
 
 just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas,
 
 and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
 
 Beautiful pistol, eh?
 
 
 
 It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
 
 your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
 
 walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
 
 flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you
 
 also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I
 
 couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try
 
 to mug us again.
 
 
 
 I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"
 
 as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
 
 situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas
 
 station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy
 
 with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
 
 I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go
 
 Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
 
 
 
 I threw the wallet
 
 in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
 
 windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a
 
 bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your
 
 bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down
 
 the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so
 
 I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
 
 permanently cut off your service..
 
 
 
 I could only get in two threatening
 
 phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy
 
 was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the
 number).
 
 
 
 I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
 
 making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
 
 reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so
 lucky..
 
 - Alex
 
 
 
 P.S. Remember this motto....... an armed society is a polite society!

Offline johnnyb_good30

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Re: He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2009, 01:43:07 AM »
Im thinking thats in a nother room on here with jokes and campfires. but any how i love it is funny as heck

The Spamburglar

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Re: He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2009, 01:39:27 PM »
ya i just figured it was a good self defense story

Offline “Mark”

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Re: He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2009, 07:17:42 PM »
He was foolish to use the credit card to buy the gas -- he'd be on security cameras.

But using the cell phone is an awesome idea. I don't think that went too far at all.

Offline mash

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Re: He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2009, 11:52:05 PM »
He was foolish to use the credit card to buy the gas -- he'd be on security cameras.

This happens with stolen credit cards all the time. A guy is hanging around the pumps and offers to give you 20 bucks worth of gas for 10 bucks cash. A surprising percentage of people accept whatever bull-crap story he is slinging so that they can save a couple bucks, never mind that it could be them getting ripped off the next time.

Besides I can tell you from experience at a previous job where one of the employees was taking stuff out of the warehouse and loading it into his car, even though it was clearly him we were told that the image was too grainy to make it through the court system. He was fired but still got away with a couple thousand dollars worth of stuff.

Offline fngrlickingood

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Re: He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2009, 10:26:43 PM »
That was great! Thanks for sharing!

Kilo113

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Re: He may of gone too far.....or did he?
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2009, 08:52:52 AM »
Uh...good story. The first part seems probable, but when he gets to the reverse mugging part I gotta fly the my b.s. flag though.  This "ass clown" admits to committing a felony and whats worse is that this make gun owners look like asshole vigilantes and gives any one who is anti-gun/second amendment/freedom one excuse to take away our rights.  >:(