Author Topic: STALKERS  (Read 3336 times)

Offline Sister Wolf

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STALKERS
« on: September 02, 2009, 03:06:47 PM »
So a recent conversation with some friends led me to wonder just what my brothers and sisters on this forum have dealt with.  Among some other situations that can't be made public, I have a for reals stalker story.

When I was 15, I got a "for reals" stalker.  He followed me for weeks back and forth between work and home, and finally he got inside my VERY secure (surrounded by ocean on three sides, with a gated, unclimbable bridge on one side, and a totally manned gate on the land entrance) gated community when my dad wasn't home (he was in the Czech Republic with my brothers at the time, which I thought was awfully inconvenient), and mom was about 2 hours away, and tried to get into our condo.  I didn't have a gun at the time, but had security there in literally 30 seconds, and cops showed up very shortly afterward.  He swore that we were married, and that I was trying to avoid my husband, and blah blah blah.  Very scary stuff.  Especially since I'd never even MET the guy before he showed up at the condo.

Stuff like that really scares me.

I wonder how many of you have stalker stories?  And what would you actually DO with a "stalker" if you got one?  Would you call the police?  Would you try to deal with it on your own and hide it from your spouse?  Really think about it, guys and gals.  It's not an easy question.  Stalkers can and often do make you look like you've done something you haven't, or that you're willing to do something you aren't.  They are delusional, and want to destroy your life, so that they can sweep in and save the day and get you away from your spouse (or girlfriend, or boyfriend, or life-mate, or partner, or whatever).  If you're a married man, you'd better be damn sure that your wife believes every word you say, because it can completely disintegrate a marriage if there is no trust there in the first place.

Just wondering if y'all have given this any thought, or have dealt with it in the past.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2009, 03:22:19 PM by Sister Wolf »

Offline evilphish

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2009, 03:51:35 PM »
I have not, to ugly to get the girls chasin me  ;)

But i've gotten my wife spray and aside from telling her never to invite police into the house unless she is the one requesting them there.  She knows basic op sec around the home and usually practices it.  I've had to sneak in a few times and inform her that she is currently being raped and or killed because she wasn't paying attention enough to hear me enter the house and that she left a door opened. 

She used to jokingly respond when I would do stuff like that and we would have fun with it.  untill last spring.  there was within walking distance of our home the following.

A murder
An arrested pedophile
4 unsolved carjacking of woman.

now she doesn't fool around and has actually pulled her spray out when i've come home from work.  i'm sad but proud of her at the same time. 

I've also almost convinced her to take a firearm saftey class with the sherrif a few more crimes and she may go for it.

so for the ladies when it comes to your safety don't fool around.  always be vigilant and if you feel threatened REACT even if its just a guy looking for directions or a donation its better to deal with those consequences then end up worm food or some demons toy.

Offline ncjeeper

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2009, 06:43:55 PM »
Being a LEO I would advise to involve everyone (friends, family, law enforcement, etc) and document everything. That way you have a support group and your own little army to go against this person. Never be alone if you can until the stalker is caught.

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2009, 07:22:46 PM »
Being a LEO I would advise to involve everyone (friends, family, law enforcement, etc) and document everything. That way you have a support group and your own little army to go against this person. Never be alone if you can until the stalker is caught.
Very good.
+1 for you.
Document everything.
If things turn bad, you may need a detailed history.

Online Mr. Bill

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2009, 09:20:54 PM »
Kid, you have got too many scary personal stories.  :(  I'm glad this one came out alright.

...Stalkers can and often do make you look like you've done something you haven't, or that you're willing to do something you aren't.  They are delusional, and want to destroy your life, so that they can sweep in and save the day and get you away from your spouse (or girlfriend, or boyfriend, or life-mate, or partner, or whatever)....

I never knew anything about this aspect.

My wife says this sounds like the guys who set fires and then "heroically" rescue people from them.

Huh.  I doubt I'll ever have a stalker myself, but it's valuable to know what a wide variety of crazy people there are in the world.  Ugh.

Offline Texasbound

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2009, 10:11:23 PM »
Back in college I took a gal I was working with on ONE date.  Nothing serious, just dinner and a movie.  She seemed pretty weird so I figured that would be it.  She followed me for months.  Sitting outside my apartment, calling my friends to check on me, making sure I was in class, work, home.... whatever.  Total psycho woman.  I'm a pretty big guy, and she was a little thing... but she really scared me.  I finally hooked her up with a nerdy, shy friend of mine.  Funny part is they ended up getting married.  She was fine after I unloaded her on someone else.  Guess they lived happily ever after.

Offline Matt66

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2009, 03:59:40 PM »
Also being a LEO, I have to agree completely with ncjeeper.  Don't try to keep it a secret or handle it by yourself.  ALWAYS get your spouse, gf, bf, etc involved and ALWAYS get the police involved.  The sooner the police get involved and start documenting and investigating, the sooner the situation can get resolved.  Stay safe!

Luckily for me, I'm big, fat and ugly so I don't have to worry about such things!!!!    ;D

Regards,
Matt

Offline cohutt

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2009, 04:47:22 AM »
That's a scary scenario. 

I've had many discussions with my daughter (21) and spouse about awareness and safety but never about stalker stuff. I feel pretty confident that both would let me know early on if someone started acting creepy but I'll still bring this up with both of them.


For the record, I am not a stalker (http://thesurvivalpodcast.com/forum/index.php?topic=8475.0), just having some fun with SW . 

LOL, honest, really..... :)

Offline swanson

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2009, 06:30:18 AM »
Sister Wolf,

I have 'managed' a few stalking cases in a past life and have seen the destructive outcomes that this type of behavior creates.

Stalking is a phenomena that effects public, celebrity, and domestic individuals one and all.

It still gets little attention in the media past truly horrific outcomes that can be framed as a news piece or the typical press on the subject surrounding celebs, but law enforcement does have better legal tools to manage this type of threat since the 90's.

Here's some pages from a course book I had from back in the day. I hope this is a good place for this info, if not, let me know and we'll move it.

Thanks for bringing this topic into view.

swanson





























Offline romeo hotel

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2009, 08:14:28 AM »
In my job we do occasionally do investigations on cyberstalking.  Social networking sites make stalking very easy, and I don't think people realize how much information they make public about themselves. I don't think they have an understanding of how dangerous this can be.  I also always see parents put stickers on the back of the cars that say their child's name, school and sport/cheerleading.  It drives me crazy and I want to tell anyone who does this that they should stop immediately.  I also think that there are many loopholes in the legal system that make it difficult to crack down on stalkers. My fiance works with domestic abuse victims and sometimes and she sees how hard it can be to get restraining orders, and notifications when someone is being release from jail.  All I know is that is some stalker is going after my better half, and comes in our house here in TX, they are going to be greeted with the business end of my pistol.

Offline liftsboxes

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2009, 08:28:36 AM »
Being a LEO I would advise to involve everyone (friends, family, law enforcement, etc) and document everything. That way you have a support group and your own little army to go against this person. Never be alone if you can until the stalker is caught.

^ This is good advice.  I've dealt the stalkers and disgruntled ex's in my work as well.  Depending on the situation, you might want to look into private security as well.

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2009, 09:36:37 AM »
No stalkers here.  Our town has a few carjacking/kidnappings every year, so I carry a .45 24/7 and my wife keeps her 9mm in the car on the passengers seat (in her unzipped UTG pistol case) and near her in the house.  She also has a Taser which she keeps in her purse.

Aside from that, she's also taken the self-defense/situational awareness course provided at the local indoor shooting range, so she pays a good amount of attention to her surroundings.

Offline Sister Wolf

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2009, 10:59:59 AM »
Swanson, this is the perfect place for that information.  Thank you.  :)

Romeo Hotel, I'm not particularly interested in hiding from the world.  If somebody wants to find out who I am (at least in the sense of what my name is, and what I look like), it's not that difficult to do in the first place.  Putting my name and photo on the internet doesn't do me any harm, y'know?  If somebody decides to stalk me, that's on them.  I understand your desire to protect people from evil, but on the other hand, I think that the world would be a much worse place if everybody were as frightened of each other as you suggest they be.

I'm friendly by nature, but guarded too, and my dog can be very, very mean and she goes everywhere with me.  She bites, and I like that about her.  I would rather not stop being friendly with those whom I already know and trust.  But I won't stop being guarded either.  Some people just make you have goosebumps (in a bad way).

I've had one person (so far) on the internet really bother me (this was back when I did not put any personal info about me at ALL on the internet, except for my avatar of a wolf's paw, and my screen name), and he figured out my real name, knew my dog's name, etc (this was pre-blog).  It really put me on edge.  After some unsavory conversations with him (in public), I finally left where he was entirely and started over.  I decided that I wasn't gonna hide from any-damned-body.  If you wanna come to my house, you'll regret it.  We own the entire street, and it would turn out very badly for a person who was not expected to drive up our street.  There are too many paranoid people here for that to go unnoticed or unharassed.  Every time somebody makes a wrong turn and ends up on our street, their license plate is taken down, they and their car are captured on several video cameras, and they usually high-tail it out of dodge with several burly men (and little ol' me) giving them the evil eye, with one hand on our bags and the other writing down a description of what they look like.  The cops here love us.  :)

Stalking is just one of those "activities" (crimes) that seems to be so prevalent that it is literally terrifying to me.  When does it cross the line from unwanted advances to "my life was in danger, your honor.  I had to shoot him."

I, along with many of us here, would rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.... but I'm not sure I trust the justice system to actually DO justice.

I just wish that some people would get a frigging life, and leave the rest of us alone.  Go stalk each OTHER, you freaks.

Offline romeo hotel

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2009, 12:44:02 PM »
Oh no, I am not saying people should hide from the world by any means.  I am talking more along the lines of people having their facebook/myspace/twitter/whatever open to the public and then posting private things like their phone numbers/addresses/whatever.  I don't think people should be frightened, just be aware of what they post online.   I work in information security, so I am vigilant, but I am not going to stop using the Internet. In my work, we can use the web to track down employees of an organization and then use their personal information in our authorized security testing. Guessing a person's passwords based on their hobbies, birthplace ... and then accessing their corporate networks.

Offline Sister Wolf

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2009, 01:08:21 PM »
Oh no, I am not saying people should hide from the world by any means.  I am talking more along the lines of people having their facebook/myspace/twitter/whatever open to the public and then posting private things like their phone numbers/addresses/whatever.

Yeah, that's incredibly stupid.

Offline romeo hotel

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Re: STALKERS
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2009, 01:20:01 PM »
Yeah for real.